Wednesday 5 December 2012

Truth, lies and vintage bags


My Doreen Shuttleworth faux fur got another outing today, it's been bitter.

No snow for us, but the ivy looked lovely with its dusting of frost.

There's a thermal vest under that wrinkled frock!

I have been on the look out for a vintage tapestry and vinyl bag for ages, and finally found one on Barnsley flea market yesterday. 
Fiver to you, love. 

Barnsley has a stack of charity shops, and after going in about 6 of them without seeing anything worth buying, I nearly gave up hope.

The market and the last couple of shops restored my faith. I'll show you what else I found in another post (haven't taken the pics yet).

I did spot a 1970s Pierre Balmain lurex maxi dress which was rather fabulous, but at £35, while not expensive considering the exclusive label, it was more than I could afford. It looked too big for me anyway, so I would have been buying to sell on. Got to think about the profit margins...

Who remembers the 1969 Peter Sarstedt song Where do you go to, my lovely?
It contains the line Your clothes are all made by Balmain, and there's diamonds and pearls in your hair...

Anyway - I hope someone who appreciates French couture and has £35 to spend snaps that frock up, and rocks the hell out of it.

Dress, leggings and bangle - charity shopped
Cardigan and boots - retail
Candy stripes scarf and leather gloves - gifts
Necklace - handmade by Santa-lovin' Krista
Vampish purple nail varnish - gift from psychedelic Vix 

I have been tagged for a few awards (Liebster, One Lovely Blog, and Sunshine) over the past few months by various blogger friends.

I am notoriously bad at responding to these award questionnaires, they feel like homework and I get all rebellious and refuse to do what I'm told. Because there's no detention or lines for not doing my homework these days...

But I've been thinking that I look a right ungrateful old cow, so I need to say a big thank you to Dawn, Liz, Melanie, Sara, Joan, and anyone else who has been kind enough to include me on their list.

These awards involve giving facts about yourself and answering questions. There are far too many questions for me to tackle, but I have gathered together a list of 11 "facts".

With a twist - 10 are complete lies, only one statement is true.

There's a prize if you spot it.*

  • Because I was a tall for my age as a child, I was chosen to play a Wise Man in my nativity play at school in 1972. The costume included a paper fake beard. I was mortified.
  • I was a member of the Sheffield University team which appeared on University Challenge in 1984. We lost.
  • I am the love child of Ray Davies of the Kinks. I inherited the gap in the teeth, but sadly not enough of his musical talent to be successful. We are not in contact.
  •   My middle name is Fanny, named after my maternal grandmother.
  • I have a file of naked photos of all my ex-boyfriends. I keep them in case they become famous/infamous, in which case I will sell them to the tabloid press. Most of them deserve it.
  • I am allergic to capers.   
  • I have The Gift (also inherited from my maternal grandmother, Fanny, along with her name). I don't talk about it, or use it. But it's there. 
  •  I have never been to Macdonald's.
  • I used to sing in a choir, and can still hit a top A.
  •  I can speak Latin. 
  • When I was pregnant with my youngest child, I had a craving for burnt toast and hot English mustard or horseradish.

So what do you think? Which are the tall stories and which is the Golden Nugget of Truth?

I won't tag anyone else, you'll be relieved to know!

*I lied. There is no prize!




Vix said...

Being a fellow grammar school girlie I'm going for the Latin: Ad astra per alas porci!
It's been bastard freezing today, I'm beginning to wonder why I sold most of my fake furs at the last vintage fair, money grasping fool that I am! Goa may be close but hypothermia's closer.
Loving that bag and those gorgeous leggings and the fab legs inside them. My Grandma's best friend was Balmain's personal assistant in the 1950s, why she ended up in Walsall I'll never know but she was always impeccably dressed.
Having you as a mate's the only prize I need, baby! xxxxxxxxx

Max said...

i really like the colour of your cardi and gloves today. i think you were a wise man. so funny. you couldnt invent it. could you? keep warm babe x

Miss Maple said...

Love that tapestry bag. I'd like to find such a darling for me too.

Anonymous said...

I love Doreen Shuttleworth and those fab leggings.
I'm going to guess that you were on University Challenge - I don't know why, but it seems as good a guess as any.

OP SHOP MAMA said...

I think your middle name is Fanny. Oh do so please tell me it is! Dick would be so happy to share his lashings of bacon with you.

Looking good. Can only imagine that cold-ness!!!

Anonymous said...

Great bag, I know that you lost your old one my dear Mary Poppins! A lurex Balmain? I think that you should come back and buy it just for Vintage's sake!These are the best answers to the Blog Award's plague and I secretly hope that all the statements are true, I think the first one could be my choice, because I imagine that you are tall, especially after I saw the bloggers meet up's photos and because everyone has started to call you 'the body' as a famous top model.
Love xxxxx

Annie said...

Hmm.. I don't think you're old enough to have been lumbered with 'Fanny', maternal grandmother or not. You've got kids, so I can't believe you've never been to Macdonald's. And I hope you're not allergic to capers, that would be miserable. What would you add to halloumi?!

I think you've mentioned being tallish before. I'm tall, and I had to play blokes in the school plays when I was a child (and I was mortified.) So I'll go with that.

Your coat looks stylish and warm. Just what's needed this weather. And I love the bag.

Good for you leaving the Pierre Balmain for some-one else. That's good karma, you'll find something else fab in return. Maybe a honey coloured faux fur xxx

Anonymous said...

Hmm, probably your one truth is that you've never been to McDonald's? Don't worry, you're not missing much. Too salty!!

I'm lovin' those green gloves. Such a rare color of leather, they're scrumptious.

Debberoo said...

Oh goodie a competition where I have an unfair advantage! Love the list and wish they were all true, especially the nude photos of ex boyfriends!

So I've narrowed the possible true down to 3. I'm pretty sure you have an O'level in Latin but I'm also pretty sure you don't "speak" it. So now I'm down to 2. I didn't know you in 72 and your not freakishly tall but it does sound very plausible - I myself have given several wise man performances (all girls school), type casting many have said, not. Now choir I know is definitely true but the top A bit I can't vouch for (I don't actually know what a top A is but I'm assuming its high). Hmmm, wiseman or Top A??? I'm going for Choir! As you know I myself have such an exceptional singing voice that some people don't have good enough hearing to be able to it. Lip syncing in Choir? Moi? Never!!! Did I win my lovely?

Gracey the Giant said...

No way you're allergic to capers; that'd just be weird. I think the truth is the pregnancy cravings. My understanding is that they get crazy.

Love your vintage bag. I'm OBSESSED with vintage bags and buy them up every time I see them.

Debberoo said...

*to be able to hear it I meant to type.

Unknown said...


LOVE this outfit - the coat, boots and bag are gorgeous, YOU are gorgeous, Fanny! Come over for some burnt toast with capers!

Love your bones, Sarah xxx

Miss Simmonds Says said...

First one?! I do also hope your Curtise Fanny Monk. Bhahaha I just burst out laughing at that!!!
I never knew that's what he said or didn't recognize the name. Excellent find.
So's the bag, it's bloody gorgeous. Lovely to see Doreen getting another outing. She's always a joy to behold. Looking fab yourself and rather sexy in a couple of those poses, still worthy of the title The Bod xxxx

silvergirl said...

your bag is lovely, but i can't take my eyes of the fabulous green leather gloves!!!

Patti said...

I love Doreen!And the tapestry bag too - I'm still on the hunt for one. I think the pregnancy cravings are true - or are you devious again, and they are *all* true?? xoxo

Kylie said...

Crikey, I didn't read your intro properly Curtise and I thought I was looking for one fibb among all those facts!
Very disappointed to learn I got it wrong!!!
Truth is always stranger than fiction (or so they say...) so I'm going for # 5 - the naked boyfiends one. Am I right?

Unknown said...

I like the bag. I have a few tapestry bags , they are easy to find here.
I never did my homework when i received an award, consequently nobody sends me award anymore, oh well!

The weather has been clement here but cold days ahead for sure, i am ready i have my faux fur as well

Ariane xxx

Anonymous said...

hey--I've got a gap between my front teeth..wonder if Ray was in the US in 1958???? hmmmmmmmmm

Lolve your outfit--and the purse is stunning!!!

Pull Your Socks Up! said...

ooooooooh the bag!!!!!! What a great score and oh you're a sight for sore eyes today in your absolutely beautiful fur and GAH! the boots on the most gorgeous legs that go on FOREVAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! The frost on the ivy is so beautiful and I do hope the Balmain goes to a good home, maybe the seller should tell potential buyers they have to sing all the words to the song or they can't have the frock ;). I'm tossing up between the school play and the pregnancy craving. Thank you SO much for your kind and supportive words about my mama-scars - I'm sick of being scared of people catching a glimpse of them!! xoxoxoxoxo

bonsaimum said...

What a list! I just love your little black dress and those green leather gloves-just perfect.

The Small Fabric Of My Life said...

Latin? Hmm.
Caecillius est pater??? Or is it Ray?
I remember listening to that song when I was little.

Vintage Coconut said...

THAT BAG IS GORGEOUS! What a find for a fiver. Hello Doreen your looking rather shiny and glamorous today.
I am going to say the paper beard.

Diane said...

I think you were a wise man. When I was 4, Father Christmas at my baby clinic gave me a toy car. I thought he thought I was a boy and I was mortified as I had lovely long dark hair! (Santa was a confused old lady!!). So you went 't tarn did you! Barnsley market used to be great - ive not been for years, but I can't imagine any one would have appreciated the Balmain dress. I bet you could have sold it for double though. Keep warm my lovely x

Camelia Crinoline said...

That coat is fabulous. I love the bag too. I hope it's number five cos that would be hilarious.

carrievintage said...

love your new vintage bag! <3

Anonymous said...

Mmm, why did the Wise Men have to be tall? I'm going for Fanny.

What a great bag to find for a fiver! (and the green gloves are amazing!). I have recently been reunited with a tapestry bag I left in Canada so I will have to dedicate a post to it. I thought of you yesterday as I found two more great bags and a pair of boots in the second-hand shop here ... and I know you share the passion. I am beginning to think that the only items the French give away are bags and boots. :)

I never respond to those awards either - I always feel like a shumuck but if the questions aren't related to blogging, I tend to shy away. Looking forward to reading about the one truth! Xo

P.S. That song is not part of my cultural repertoire but hubby played it for me for the first time this summer as we were driving to France. Am I an evil cow if I say that the guy sounds like a stalker?

Unknown said...

I reckon you can reach a top A ;-) I rubbish at trying to guess things and my memory is pants to so theres no hope for me really. Loving your bag thats lush i remember you talking to Vix the other month when we were in Walsall in the chairty shops you were trying to find one im so glad you came up trumps ;-) dee xxx

Unknown said...

I reckon you can reach a top A ;-) I rubbish at trying to guess things and my memory is pants to so theres no hope for me really. Loving your bag thats lush i remember you talking to Vix the other month when we were in Walsall in the chairty shops you were trying to find one im so glad you came up trumps ;-) dee xxx

Rose&Bird said...

Well, I reckon they could all be true! I think the first one is the correct one, but I'm probably wrong! It is indeed faux fur weather and I really like the tights x

Megan said...

I love how the leggings and the tapestry bag "match" or blend together. Fabulous!

I totally think you're the love child of Ray Davies since you are a ROCK STAR.

thorne garnet said...

I'll go with singing in the choir. Frost? It's been so warm here I haven't turned the heat on in almost 2 weeks.

Krista said...

I almost slept in my faux fur last night you get so cosy they are hard to take off. This new tapestry bag is a real beauty perfect addition to your vintage closet:) can you believe I just found a white one for a quid?!

I'm gonna say you played a wiseman! Come on tell us already!

Fiona said...

Vix is right, it IS bastard freezing today, so cold in fact that my Softmints are now 'kin Hardmints! You look warm in Doreen's fur though and your tapestry handbag is delightful. (nearly grabbed me a Kelly type handbag today for a fiver but it was just a tad too ordinary.)
I reckon you had a date with Bamber Gascoigne in '84. The ivy shot is gorgeous and your loveliness goes on and on. (Simon Dee & Peter Sarstedt, how super!)

Debbi@SheAccessorizesWell said...

Two of my favorite things-fur and vintage tapestry bags. You look so great in this outfit.

Loo xx from Jumbles and Pompoms said...

I love the bag, good find missus. Oh God, I remember "Where do you go to my lovely" well. It was always on the radio when I was little and I loathed it then as I do now ugh!

Oh I do like a good guessing game. I think that the Golden Nugget of Truth is......that you used to sing in a choir. Yeh, come on, tell us, which is it? xx

Flora Cruft said...

Teehee I so hope that you really do have a file of naked photos of your exes!

But as an ex grammar girl myself I'm guessing it's that you know Latin... or that you're Ray Davies's love child. Both are equally plausible!

Rachel said...

I really want the nde boyfriend picture file to be true! Hee hee.

I like your new bag, what a bargain. Also faux fur = necessary. I am all over my thermals now, it has gone seriously cold. Although the other week I was in Crewe for work (I am usually more SW) and it was FREEZING. I am a bit of a baby when it comes to cold xx

The Style Crone said...

Clever as always, and oh so sylish with that gorgeous faux fur and new tapestry bag. You have sparked my memory; I think I have a similar treasure tucked away and it needs to be brought out this season. And the green gloves!!! You never disappoint.

CityScape Skybaby said...

Oh no, I saw you'd posted a second blog Curtise but I promise I didn't look at the answer, I looked away after the Ray Davies bit. At first I misread this blog and thought it was ten true facts and I was a bit flabbergasted to think most of these things were true about you! But rereading it, I'll go for you being on University Challenge, though I was tempted by you knowing latin and being in the choir too. I did wonder about Ray Davies though, growing up in the 70's I remember knowing a few kids who looked a lot like Ringo Starr and we were only across the river from Liverpool. Strange coincidence or lots of mums who used to hang out at the Cavern? xx

Melanie said...

Goodness, how could you stand to be outside coatless! It's been bitterly cold down south so I can only imagine what it's like where you are!
That coat though, does look awfully snuggly x

Helga said...

Fark, I'm way behind and missed this HOOT of a post!!
Crazy about that handbag,I have handbag ENVY!
Love you, gonna go check out what was truth or not......XXXXXXXXXXX

Dawn said...

Girl, this should totally be a link up. I love this so much. "One truth" should be the name. You are funny, these lies are so believably creative. dawn suitcase vignettes xo Thanks for the mention.

50 and counting said...

A line from that song has been stuck in my brain for years. "drink brand without getting her lips wet".

I think I win the cold sweepstakes. -20C, factor in the wind chill and it's -30

Amber of Butane Anvil said...

Dear Doreen looks marvy with those delectable green gloves and awesome bag! Lovely bright blue cardigan and great leggings too.

I hate that I missed this post as it happened - this is hands-down the BEST response to blog-awards I have ever seen. I about busted my gut laughing and you inspire me to finally get around to my two in some fashion or other!

DADDY! Fanny, the naked photos and the Gift are the ones I most wish were true! You're the best, xoxo