It's coming on Christmas

Work is finished for the year, the cupboards are full, and I believe I am ready to party!

How to style a pair of your daughter's leopard ears. 

Pinch them; then put 'em on. Simple.

 

Our friends Diana and Jim always throw a winter party featuring a brazier and outdoor seating. I thought a sleeveless frock was fine for the indoor parts of the do, then I can throw the leopard fur back on for the outdoorsy bits. 

 

We're off round to theirs a bit later on today, and look, I'm ready to go!

 

 

1970s C&A maxi dress and ankle boots - Ebay

1970s Wallis faux fur jacket - Kinky Melon's Retro Boutique

Bangles - charity shopped

Ears - nicked off Claudia

 

 

There are more festivities tomorrow, at Sal and Terry's annual Christmas Eve gathering. 

Hmm, what shall I wear?

This was yesterday's final supermarket shop outfit.

Actually, it was all quite civilised at Morrisons, busy but good-natured, and I managed to talk Simon out of buying the entire cheese counter this year... Believe me, that's quite a feat of negotiation.

1970s Decosse Scottish tweed coat - flea market

Flares - made by me from 1970s fabric and pattern

Top, ankle boots, necklace and bangles - charity shopped

Belt - retail (sale) 

 

 

And that's me ready for the festive season. I hope you are doing (or not doing) Christmas in whatever way suits you best, with a minimum of stress and maximum enjoyment. 

Wishing you happy times, my friends!

xxxx

All the fun of the flares

You all know about me and trousers, right? 

I rarely wear them, and am in awe of women who can find jeans or trousers which fit and flatter. I look like shit in most pairs I try on, and find dresses are so much easier.

I can happily live without jeans, but I do get the occasional urge for pants. 

And since you asked me so nicely, I'll show you the pair I've made - ta da!

Now I might have a face like a slapped arse, but I can tell you I am delighted with these flares.

They were actually pretty straightforward to make. 

There is a zip at the back, which I got in without any difficulty. The waistband ended up being too big; herein lies my issues with trousers, I think. If they fit my hips and flatter my thighs, the waist is always too large. I overcame this problem by threading some elastic through the waistband to pull it in slightly. A couple of hooks and eyes, et voila, my first ever self-sewn pair of pants!

  I need to press the hems a little better; because the fabric is a synthetic knit, I couldn't use a hot iron. I should probably press them with another layer of cotton fabric on top, then I could turn up the heat to create a smoother finish. 

But I'm feeling the 1970s vibe; are you?

Funnily enough, I found some wide-legged palazzo pants in a charity shop last week, which I also really like.

Palazzos, denim jacket, sunglasses and bangles - charity shopped

Hobbs t-shirt - jumble sale

Sandals - retail (sale)

Now, no post of mine on the vexed question of trousers would be complete without the infamous Penis/Labia Pants, would it?

It's been a while since they made an appearance, and there are new friends around these days who haven't witnessed their insane glory.

(Photos from 2012)

They're Valentino, darlings, found in a charity shop for £2; and they are one of the funniest items of clothing I have ever seen, so I had to buy them.

They would be great Pulling Pants - no mixed messages here, the agenda is written all over the pudenda.

How naughty!

Flares - made by me from a 1973 pattern (gift from Vix) and 1970s polyester knit fabric (flea market)

1970s blouse - gift from Tania
1970s apple necklace - vintage market

1980s belt, sunglasses and bangles - charity shopped

Shoes - retail (sale, ancient)

I'd definitely make some more trousers using this pattern, it's easy enough, and a lighter fabric in a floral print would be great for summer.

And this version will do very nicely in the autumn with ankle boots and my 1970s brown leather/suede Sweeney-style jacket; it's too warm for that now, but I'm planning ahead.

Hmm... what shall I make next? Suggestions?

PS. This is a message for Beth Waltz, who leaves the loveliest, most thoughtful and intelligent comments on my blog and many others. Beth, where is your blog? If you don't have one, you should start one, because you are fabulous! Thank you for always taking the time to say something brilliant, I really appreciate it but had no way of letting you know, other than saying so here.

xxxx

Ad Hoc Fashion

It's that tricky time of year, rather chilly one day, warm the next. Then it rains. Sometimes it's all three in one afternoon.

 

What to wear?

 

 

 

Littlest started guitar lessons this week. She nagged asked me about it all last year , and I finally succumbed. 

 

We have borrowed a guitar, and if she sticks at it, we will buy her one of her own (secondhand, hopefully). I didn't think to ask the friend from whom we borrowed the instrument whether it had a case. It doesn't. So we carried it to school in my shopping bag. 

I know - rock'n'roll.

(I have now sourced a case - also borrowed - because around here, we like to cobble things together in an ad hoc fashion.)

 

I am hoping hoping hoping Littlest takes to the guitar. I'd love for one of the kids to show some musical talent. And if she could be a rock star and keep me in finery and champagne in my dotage, that would be excellent.

 

Austin Reed silk dress, cardigan, red flower, most of the bangles and 1970s pendant - charity shopped

Sandals - retail

Cream bracelet - darling Tania

Black heart-shaped ring - Italian Widow Vix

Orange flower - cool Mrs Coconut

 

 

 

 

Red and gold, a good combination, I think.

 

 

Look, I've grown some chillies this year.

 

Yep, looking pretty smug about that.

 

In other news;

Sue was blown away by all your positive comments about her poem, and says thanks very much.

 

Her head has swollen to the size of a large pumpkin with all the compliments, she's going to be unbearable from now on....

 

She's writing a children's book at the moment, and she's given me a draft of what she has produced so far. I will be reading and critiquing it later, and trying to find something intelligent to say other than wow, it's bloody fantastic.

This week saw my annual Give Pants A Chance event.

I tried, but I looked shit.

I am braving the Wrath of Vix, and saying never again. 

 

Till next time... 

 

 

1970s peasant blouse and sandals - Ebay

1960-70s suede jerkin - luscious Luce

Linen trousers, 1960s vinyl/tapestry shopper, bangles and necklace - charity shopped

Sunglasses - retail (sale).

 

 

We used to have a sex shop in our neighbourhood. 

As soon as the kids could read the word toys, questions were asked.

Can we go in that toy shop, Mummy?

It has now closed down, and an electronic cigarette shop has opened in its place, one of many springing up all over the place.

 

It seems we've had the sex, now we are having our post-coital e-fag.

Bits and bobs from charity shops and Chesterfield flea market (clockwise from top left);

1970s handmade maxi skirt

 groovy 1970s tray

cottons

fishnet tights

1960s Meakin pottery (a quid for the lot from Joe's stall)

1960s fabric.

Can't quite remember what that little lot cost but it was well under a tenner.

 

 

Oh, and this.

A small 1960s canister, made by Damel (Spanish, I presume) featuring Don Quixote, accompanied by Sancho Panza while he tilts at windmills.

Who doesn't want their vintage plastic containers decorated with illustrations of 17th Century Spanish fictional characters? I know I do.

I could have washed it before taking the photos, but hey, a bit of vintage grime adds interest.

 

 

What else? 

Stall holder Joe on Chesterfield market has taken to calling me Myrtle. No idea why. 

 

My mate Jo says it's a euphemism for vagina, but I've never heard of that before. Mind you, there are loads; all those cutesy names because we don't seem to like to use proper words for down there.

Fou fou. 

Flower. 

Tuppence. 

Front bum.

 

A vagina's a vagina in this house.

 

On that note - I'm off to cook dinner. 

And no, it isn't Fuck Broth.

 

xxxxx

 

 

Skin deep

How has your weekend been?

 

Good, I hope.

 

 

 

I spent Saturday working hard at our annual school Summer Fair.

I think it went OK; I spent all my time on food and washing up duty, so I didn't really get much of a look around. A few glasses of sparkling rose with fellow volunteers afterwards were in order and much appreciated!

 

This week, the lovely Tamera has been wearing black and white, and invited her followers and friends to a Black and White party, in support and recognition of those who live with chronic, long-term health conditions, and their loved ones and carers.

I had a couple of attempts at monochrome outfits, and predictably couldn't choose between them, so I am including them both here.

This isn't a vintage dress but I like its 1970s-referencing-the-30s vibe.

Dress, bangles, sandals and shorter pearl necklace - charity shopped

Sunglasses - gift from heavenly Helga

Longer pearl necklace - gift from party girl Tamera

 

Look - trousers!

We all know about me and my trouser issues, but I do like these silk palazzo pants a lot.

I look as though I am sneaking off for an illicit assignation, hoping no one will recognise me!

(I didn't, honest.)

 

 

 

 

 

 1970s peasant blouse and 1960s Chinese silk waistcoat - Ebay

Silk palazzo pants and hat - flea market

Bangles - charity shopped and gift from dearest Tania

Black beads - gift from darling Helga

Bastard massive Cancerian pendant - gift from beautiful Vix

Sunglasses and shoes - retail (old)

1960s vanity case - charity shopped

Tamera's call resonated with me.

My youngest daughter has a rare and severe skin condition, Bullous Ichthyosiform Erythroderma (BIE) or Epidermolytic Hyperkeratosis (EHK); the name depends on where in the world you live.

But whatever you call it, it's a bugger of a condition to live with - uncomfortable, visible, difficult to manage, and incurable. 

Live with it she does - we all do - and despite it being technically a disability, Littlest doesn't see herself as disabled, and neither do I. 

She's Nina. She's so much more than a mere medical diagnosis. 

She's a budding actress, or Drama Queen, take your pick!

(Previous rants on the subject of Littlest, disability and difference are here and here, if you care to read them.)

Whatever you or your loved ones may struggle with, know that there are people out there who understand.

Thanks for the party, Tamera!

I'll be linking up with another Hostess with the Mostest, Patti, at Visible Monday, though I'm sending Clementine in my place this week. I do hope she behaves herself.

   xxxx

Pants. But no pants.

Today I am posing one of life's great unanswered questions...

Why is it that I can find umpteen dresses and skirts which suit me and fit me perfectly, but not a single pair of jeans?


Yes, I have returned to the vexed question (for me) of pants!

As this blog tip-taps its high-heeled way towards 200 posts, these photos represent my infrequent, but frequently hilarious, forays into trousers.

Please note the piece de resistance, and cause of the large hanging labia search term, my much-commented-upon Valentino trousers.

I can't resist including these babies, the photos make me laugh every time I see them!

Sorry - wearing this print emblazoned on one's crotch is inappropriate because...?

Moving on...

My blog pal, Mrs Secret Squirrel, who wears a pair of jeans better than most, is having a No Trousers week (nothing to do with me bullying her, honest...)


I am returning the get-out-of-the-comfort-zone gesture by having another go with some trousers.

These Giant Pants* are made from a very lightweight viscose, like a muslin or a voile. I bought them for £1 in a charity shop last year, thinking they would be great to wear in summer.

I need to take them in at the waist and up at the hem, so they actually fit and I don't trip over them...

I think I like them because they are so wide-legged, they look like a skirt!
Look how unintentionally similar these outfits are.

Giant pants, belt, bangles and hat - charity shopped

1970s scarf - jumble sale

Top - street market

Boots - Ebay

Clutch bag - gift from dearest Joni 

*Check out Amber's affection for Giant Pants here and here - and thanks for the turn of phrase, Amber, it has entered my vocabulary with gusto!

I spent some time trying on the trousers which remain in my wardrobe, and also trying to be objective about what works on my shape and what doesn't.  

I am in disguise.
You'd never know it was me, would you?

Ahhh... the ubiquitous skinny jeans.

Sorry - jean.

(How could I forget the true fashionista's love of the singular?)

I don't think this style does my legs any favours - a wide leg skims over my sturdy thighs in a more flattering way.

Please note - I am not indulging in body hatred or suffering from low self-esteem related to body image. Just trying to be thoughtful and honest about why I love how I look in some clothes, less so in others.

Happy to show off my thighs and backside in these outfits, for example!

Exhibitionist? Moi?

I think the other issue for me is that most trousers are rather too crotch-defining. And I don't like this.

All those wrinkles, I feel my eyes drawn to my own crotch in a most unseemly fashion!

(God knows what search terms will bring disappointed readers to my blog now...)

Jeans - retail, at least 10 years old

Blouse and huge sunglasses - charity shopped

Hat and Chinese silk waistcoat - Ebay

Scarf - flea market

So having tried on, and looked, and considered, and reasoned - I am getting rid of most of my trousers, apart from the wide-legged ones.

Pants....

I know - dealing with the Really Important Issues today, folks.

Is there anything you have decided doesn't work for you?
Can you tell me why?

I'm fascinated!

xxx