Pants. But no pants.

Today I am posing one of life's great unanswered questions...

Why is it that I can find umpteen dresses and skirts which suit me and fit me perfectly, but not a single pair of jeans?


Yes, I have returned to the vexed question (for me) of pants!

As this blog tip-taps its high-heeled way towards 200 posts, these photos represent my infrequent, but frequently hilarious, forays into trousers.

Please note the piece de resistance, and cause of the large hanging labia search term, my much-commented-upon Valentino trousers.

I can't resist including these babies, the photos make me laugh every time I see them!

Sorry - wearing this print emblazoned on one's crotch is inappropriate because...?

Moving on...

My blog pal, Mrs Secret Squirrel, who wears a pair of jeans better than most, is having a No Trousers week (nothing to do with me bullying her, honest...)


I am returning the get-out-of-the-comfort-zone gesture by having another go with some trousers.

These Giant Pants* are made from a very lightweight viscose, like a muslin or a voile. I bought them for £1 in a charity shop last year, thinking they would be great to wear in summer.

I need to take them in at the waist and up at the hem, so they actually fit and I don't trip over them...

I think I like them because they are so wide-legged, they look like a skirt!
Look how unintentionally similar these outfits are.

Giant pants, belt, bangles and hat - charity shopped

1970s scarf - jumble sale

Top - street market

Boots - Ebay

Clutch bag - gift from dearest Joni 

*Check out Amber's affection for Giant Pants here and here - and thanks for the turn of phrase, Amber, it has entered my vocabulary with gusto!

I spent some time trying on the trousers which remain in my wardrobe, and also trying to be objective about what works on my shape and what doesn't.  

I am in disguise.
You'd never know it was me, would you?

Ahhh... the ubiquitous skinny jeans.

Sorry - jean.

(How could I forget the true fashionista's love of the singular?)

I don't think this style does my legs any favours - a wide leg skims over my sturdy thighs in a more flattering way.

Please note - I am not indulging in body hatred or suffering from low self-esteem related to body image. Just trying to be thoughtful and honest about why I love how I look in some clothes, less so in others.

Happy to show off my thighs and backside in these outfits, for example!

Exhibitionist? Moi?

I think the other issue for me is that most trousers are rather too crotch-defining. And I don't like this.

All those wrinkles, I feel my eyes drawn to my own crotch in a most unseemly fashion!

(God knows what search terms will bring disappointed readers to my blog now...)

Jeans - retail, at least 10 years old

Blouse and huge sunglasses - charity shopped

Hat and Chinese silk waistcoat - Ebay

Scarf - flea market

So having tried on, and looked, and considered, and reasoned - I am getting rid of most of my trousers, apart from the wide-legged ones.

Pants....

I know - dealing with the Really Important Issues today, folks.

Is there anything you have decided doesn't work for you?
Can you tell me why?

I'm fascinated!

xxx