Not maxed out yet

January is a tough month in the UK.

Cold, wet and currently wildly windy, the festivities are over, the days are short, and despite our best efforts, Christmas was an expensive event and it's a loooong time till pay day. Ebay will be a struggle but I feel I should at least try...

Still, we haven't maxed out completely, we will limp along frugally till February, and I can enjoy what I already have in my wardrobe.

                                        Today's chilly and blustery conditions required faux fur. Of course!

This grey fur was from Ebay, bought for next-to-nothing in the summer. The brooch on my beret is from lovely Lucy, as is the green velvet maxi skirt. I'll never max out on the maxis!

                       The 1970s dagger collar shirt and grey suede belt were charity shop buys last year.

Truly a big pointy collar. I could have taken off if the wind had got underneath those! The turquoise pendant was a gift from an old friend who has just gone to live in Spain. I miss her and think of her when I wear it.

                                                      How many chins? More than one, dammit!



                                            Here's a question for you - what do you reckon to this dress?

 

It's a 1970s (I think) Berkertex maxi, another of last year's Ebay purchases. I haven't worn it before, because although it fits me really well, and I love the shape and style, I think the brown/white colours are a little bleugh.

You can tell by the slapped-arse face I'm not too sure about it. Any thoughts? If I added a floppy hat, I could be Margo Leadbetter off to Miss Mountshaft's for coffee!

Thank you to everyone who made such thoughtful and supportive comments on my last post. I really appreciate your responses.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

So I'm pondering...

... how it is that blogging has given me some much-needed confidence, and the nature of self-esteem.

You may leave now, if that sounds too dreary for you to bother with, I won't be offended!

If anyone had said to me 6 months ago that I would be posting photos of myself on the Internet, frequently looking daft, I would not have believed them. So what on earth happened? And why?

A love of vintage clothing is obviously the hook on which I hang my blog, and there is something amazingly confidence-boosting about finding a like-minded group of people who appreciate quirky and individual style. I suppose it's a way of finding your tribe, your gang, which is supportive and protective of you. After many years of feeling that I never look right somehow - not pretty enough, not thin enough, over/underdressed, not cool, blah blah blah - I have found that by completely eschewing current trends in fashion, I am released from all that worry and self-consciousness. It's counterintuitive, but by dressing in a way that undoubtedly attracts attention (oh the side-eye...), I am so much less concerned about that attention, or others' opinions.

I think it must be a control thing. If I take the photo, if I pull the silly face, or choose the weird frock, that's up to me. I make the decision to publish it. It is an interesting phenomenon, the fact that lots of bloggers admit to anxieties about how they look, they don't think they are the most beautiful women in the world, but they obviously gain confidence from publicly saying, "this is me, and I look pretty good!" And this is irrespective of size, age, style, or the cost of their clothes. I like this about blogging, it's open to all.

So I had been thinking about all this stuff, when I overheard Youngest LB and her dad having a conversation whilst in the bathroom applying her creams.

For those who don't know, Youngest Child has a rare skin condition* which makes her skin extremely dry, scaly and fragile. It's noticeable on some areas of her body more than others, but all her flexures are particularly affected, including her hands which are obviously always on show. Naturally, she has encountered some negativity from other children about her skin and the fact that she looks different, and we talk with her often about this issue, trying to help her find responses to others' reactions.

Other Half thinks we should just encourage her to tell them to fuck off. While I admire his gung-ho direct approach (and she may need it in the future) she is only 6, so maybe that won't play too well at school...

But back to my eavesdropping.

OH and Youngest LB were talking about her skin being different, and the fact that there are many ways in which people can look different from each other. This lead them on to discussing whether appearance mattered. LB said that some people might not want to be her friend because of her skin; OH agreed that was true, but added that anyone who used someone's appearance (or disability) as a reason not to like another person, probably wasn't worth being friends with anyway. LB agreed. OH said that you can't make people like you. LB agreed. OH said "I like you. Because you're interesting, and funny, and clever, and I like how you think about things." LB said "And I look nice too." OH agreed.

So this self-esteem thing... it's complicated. Youngest LB wants to be loved for her personality. But she likes to be reassured that she looks nice too. Of course what's on the inside matters most. But we can't deny the impact of the external, our appearance matters too. Of course we want to be appreciated for our intelligence, our wit and warmth, our humour and our kindness. But aren't we also delighted when someone tells us we look good?

Which is pretty much where I came in - the confidence-building, morale-boosting, frock-lovin', vintage craziness-appreciating, endlessly kind and supportive world of the Ladies Who Blog.

Youngest LB and I salute you. xxxxxxx

PS. Normal service will be resumed in the next post. I just needed to get that off my chest!

*Bullous Ichthyosiform Erythroderma, in case you're wondering. (And no, she won't grow out of it. That's often the next question!)

I resolve...

... to dress how I like and not care about the reactions of others.

This is a cheat resolution, of course, as it's something I already do. It's more of a reminder to keep doing it, brought on by an incident which happened today.

LBs and I are in town. I am wearing this;

                                                         Pretty unremarkable, wouldn't you say?

                                                      A 1970s pussy bow frock, 99p from Ebay.

With my favourite-of-the-moment faux fur, plus red tights, white T-bars and navy 1980s bucket bag (all charity shopped).


So back to town. LBs and I strolling along chatting.

Eldest LB: "Mum, that lady who just walked past did this to you." [Pulls a what-the-hell-do-you-look-like? appalled face.]

Me: "Did she? What did she look like?"

Eldest LB: [thinks] "Scruffy."


You ladies will appreciate the moral of that story without any assistance from me.


My resolution for 2011 was not to buy anything new for myself, I could only shop in charity shops, on Ebay or at markets or fairs.

And I've done it! I think it's going to continue, I can't imagine being a high street regular anymore. Too expensive, too much tat, too samey, no fun.  And I have had SO much fun charity shopping, and through rediscovering my old love of vintage, I've discovered all your wonderful blogs, and made some fabulous friends. Your support and encouragement and appreciation of my efforts have given me so much confidence, I can't tell you.

I owe you all - big time. 

 This is me in 1986, or thereabouts. I was about 22, wearing a 1960s black chiffon cocktail dress. Big permed 80s hair apart, I'm proud of how I looked. I wore vintage then, and wasn't scared to look different. And I'm wearing it now!

The 2011 (just) version; 1960s Shubette angel sleeve maxi dress (vintage fair), Mum's beaded necklace, bangle and flower (charity shopped)

Off to our friends' New Year's Eve party in an hour or so. Only 4 doors down the road, very handy for stumbling home!

Further resolutions may follow, probably involving reduction of alcohol intake and other notions of self-improvement. I'll let you know...

Happy New Year to you all.
Keep being you, you do it so well!

Curtise xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

All the colours of the carousel

Have you all had a delightful Christmas? I do hope it was at least peaceful, at best joyful.

No, I didn't leave home. That fabulous vintage suitcase was a gift from my brilliant friend Tracey, she of the cakestand expertise. Isn't it wonderful? And it matches my outfit! A 1980s floral frock, all of a quid from Ebay, and a vintage St. Michael pinny. Wine? Dunno, came out of the fridge.

                                                 

                                                         Anyone pull a cracker on Christmas Day?

                                            Yep, drink was taken. Repeatedly. It was the only way.

                                        'Twas the night before Christmas - and butter wouldn't melt...
                              (I made those stockings last year. God, I swore. In a cheery festive kind of way.)

                          They're mini consumers at heart, and were delighted with their X Box.


After a couple of days of gaming (them, not me), eating and drinking (very much me), we all needed a change of scene and some fresh air, so we popped into town to spend a voucher or two, have a ride on the carousel, and take some photos. Get me - remembering I'm a blogger!

                                          
                                                                    It was rather glorious.

                                                       My LBs and me reeling around the fountain.

                                                   Carousel, fountain and Sheffield City Hall.

                                                           It would make a great album cover.

1970s faux fur jacket and green cardigan (charity shopped), 1970s goddess dress with belt used as a pussy bow (vintage fair), tan boots (Ebay), bag (Matchy Match Queen Helga)


I feel better for that. I like being back in colour. And I shall return to the wine with renewed vigour. Yippee!

Strictly monochrome

I used to wear a lot of black and white, but I have made a conscious decision to inject more colour into my wardrobe.

Perhaps it was a reaction against the sparkle required by Christmas, but by Boxing Day, I was in monochrome.

           I must have been feeling a bit stern and governessy. Kids were obviously getting on my wick...

I'm thinking Deborah Kerr as the crazed governess in the fabulously spooky film The Innocents. It's one of my all-time favourites.

                
                                     Or maybe I'm poor doomed Miss Jessel, lurking in the weeds? Hahaha!

           For light relief, I changed my hat. You know, like you do when you're bored. Bloody Christmas!

1960s Riddella maxi skirt (99p, Ebay), white shirt (old work wear, at least 15 years old), velvet waistcoat - or is it a jerkin? Vix will know! (£2.50, charity shop), Jones boots (worn to death, Ebay), leopard print trilby (£2.29, Ebay), tan leather bag (lovely Alex)


           Victorian governess? 1970s pimp? What's your fancy dress of choice this Christmas?!


The oh-so-stylish and delightful Ariane at Style Montreal Sud-Est has been kind enough to give me a Liebster award. Thank you, Ariane - now that's a Christmas gift I didn't expect, which cost nothing, and has brought a smile to my face!

 

 

Liebster means "dearest" in German, and this award is given to bloggers with fewer than 200 followers. The stipulations of the award are as follows:

1. Thank the giver and link back to the blogger who gave it to you.
2. Reveal your 5 blogger picks and let them know by leaving a comment on their blog.
3. Copy and paste the award on your blog.
4. Hope that the people you have sent the award to will forward it to their favorite bloggers.

So my choices to whom I am passing the award are;

Lucy at Being of Sound Mind

Krista at Peetee's Palace

Melanie at Vintage Coconut

Em at Vintage Sweetheart 

Vanessa at Two Squirrels Vintage

All gorgeous, funny, stylish and interesting ladies whose blogs I greatly enjoy. Check 'em out!

That'll be Christmas

So we're getting Christmassy in this house. 

 We have...

 

                                                                       

                                                                                   matching hats...

                                                      

                                                                                snowy Jessie...

                                                                 

                                                                              festive LBs...


 

                                                                  
                                                                      top-hatted Top Cat Minnie...

                                                                       
                                                                              camera-shy Willow...

                            
                                      Alex's beautiful snowflake from my swap parcel, in pride of place on my tree...

                    

                                another faux fur. (I'm allowed, because it makes me feel like the Snow Queen)...

                 
                             and the accessory du jour? Why, a Santa hat, of course. It is Christmas, after all!

                             Wishing all my newfound friends and the ones they love a peaceful Christmas.
                                                                      xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Dedicated Follower of Fashion

The post title is ironic, of course.

Learning to value personal style and individuality over being "in fashion" is probably the most important step I have taken in order to feel confident about what I wear.

Not that Eldest LB appreciates this at all, she reckons my clothes are just plain old fashioned and that's that. "No offence, Mum," she said. None taken. No notice taken either.

No, the dedication of the title refers to my efforts to sort out my new and rather fabulous 1970s faux fur coat.

I think I may have squealed when I spotted it in one of my regular charity shops. The lady at the counter said they had only just put it out - there's serendipity for you, I'd only just popped in on the off chance, with giddy holiday-mode kids in tow, so I wasn't expecting to have much chance to look properly.

However, on wearing it today with, I noticed a cascade of black "bits" appearing all over the place, getting horribly stuck on my suede skirt.

The facing and the underside of the collar were disintegrating, the coating was flaking badly, and where it rubbed against my clothes underneath, it was shedding a deluge of black... plastic, I suppose. Bugger!

                          
                                So I set to with my nails and a suede brush (terribly high-tech, I know) ....

 ... et voila! After some considerable time, effort and swearing, all the loose flakes of sticky nastiness were gone. See? That's dedication to the faux fur love.

These photos are so bad, the light was dismal, the red-eye corrector gismo didn't work, but I'm trusting you to see past my rubbish photography to the 70s sartorial glory! Please try.

Yes, another hat to fit my big head. I was admiring a leopard print trilby in John Lewis while Christmas shopping, but at £30 it was too expensive for me, so I was really chuffed to win this one on Ebay for a mere £2.29.

 1970s Astraka faux fur, top and suede skirt (charity shopped), hat and tan boots (Ebay), tan leather bag (Christmas swap gift from Awesome Alex), scarf (flea market), face of a miserable cow (lack of light and a bad back).

I do love the Kinks, and I momentarily considered that song Roy Castle sang at the end of Record Breakers about needing dedication if you want to be the best, but in the end I plumped for the gorgeous Mamas and the Papas, which reminds me of my childhood. I have my eldest sister to thank for my love of 60s pop music.

Enjoy.