My alter ego, Mme le Derriere, is rather a monster.
She's rude, egocentric, a hypocrite, a snob, and a bully.
Is it bad that I rather like being her, now and again?
My Clementine photo shoot for this month's amazing edition of Vogoff (thank you, Melanie, you did a brilliant job putting it all together) was done on location at Chatsworth House in Derbyshire, seat of the Duke of Devonshire.
I cavorted about in the grounds of the estate, much to the incomprehension of the resident sheep, passing dog walkers and ramblers, and the coach parties arriving for their visit to one of the finest stately homes in England.
I blame these two...
... Joanne and Sue, chauffeur and PA respectively.
Sue brought a bag of props...
... made me do this face repeatedly...
...and played her role as the hapless Jacinta, downtrodden and put-upon PA, to absolute perfection.
That's right, dear - once you've kissed my arse, you'd better dust it.
Clementine is a strict and demanding employer.
Ahh, what it is to have a country retreat where one can escape the rigours of city life and enjoy the rural idyll.
I posed on the folly...
...pulled faces while using multiple props...
...with many feathers...
...and made Art, darling.
Clementine does like to toot her own horn.
We had such a good laugh, despite the freezing cold and windswept conditions.
No one really knows how hard it is being Clementine.
The Dream Team in the Tunnel of Love.
Thanks, ladies, I couldn't have done it without you.
1950s brocade jacket - Second to None
1980s taffeta maxi skirt - gift from fabulous Cover Girl Shelley
Shoes and bangles - charity shopped
Mini hat - gift
Feather boa, parasol, telephone receiver, frame, horn and peacock feathers - loaned by Sue
Feather duster - Clementine's own