Now I know you probably have me down as some sort of Domestic Goddess and a candidate for Parent of the Year.
Wholesome organic meals on the table every evening, with beaming healthy happy children eagerly anticipating their Turnip Surprise before doing their homework with great enthusiasm and erudition.
When I have fulfilled my tasks as school volunteer extraordinaire, PTA member, and general
Pillock Pillar of the Community, you know doubt imagine I skip home, don my pinny, and clean every inch of the house with nothing more noxious than a squeeze of lemon juice, a sprinkle of bicarb, and a whole lot of elbow grease.
Not for me the towering pile of ironing looming ominously over the top of the washing basket, the layer of not-so-fine dust and cat hair covering every surface, or the quick fix of fish fingers and oven chips...
I am far more likely to be found arsing about in the garden taking photos of myself and flashing my petticoat!
What has it got in its pocketses?
(Our family are all very much looking forward to the release of The Hobbit.)
I can cook fine, I just don't like it much.
I hate the drudgery and pointlessness of housework.
But sometimes even I have to make an effort.
It's Seldom Seen's 9th birthday today, so there was a cake to make, and beds to change ready for a sleepover, and tea to shop for and prepare, and even a bit of hoovering to be done (encouraged by Melanie's tales of Upright Love).
I found these devil horns while I was tidying up, don't they match my outfit perfectly?
I always prefer the uncooked cake mixture to the final product somehow.
Maintaining high levels of hygiene at all times, obviously...
Dead Ringer for Love was on the radio.
My Top Tip for Successful Baking - have a little dance in the kitchen. Makes it all much more bearable.
Hmm, bit on the wonky side. But there is nothing wrong with a bit of wonk.
I even had time for a lunch of yesterday's leftover homemade spicy butternut squash soup and two of the best cheeses ever - Gouda flavoured with wasabi, and a white Stilton with red chilli.
Mmmm, I believe in cheeses.
And I bought this fabulous pan at Chesterfield flea market yesterday for £2.
It has Oct 1973 stamped on the bottom and looks unused.
Perfect for more winter soups.
Or Turnip Surprise.
1970s dress - vintage market
Cardigan, shoes, tights, bangles and petticoat - charity shopped
Blue beads - gift from Liz
So do I pass muster as a Domestic Goddess? Are you convinced?
Nah - the devil's in the domesticity!
I'll be round to visit your blogs when the boys are asleep.
I may be some time...
Have a wonderful weekend, my friends!