Friday, 9 November 2012

Domestic Bloggess

   Now I know you probably have me down as some sort of Domestic Goddess and a candidate for Parent of the Year.

Wholesome organic meals on the table every evening, with beaming healthy happy children eagerly anticipating their Turnip Surprise before doing their homework with great enthusiasm and erudition.

When I have fulfilled my tasks as school volunteer extraordinaire, PTA member, and general Pillock Pillar of the Community, you know doubt imagine I skip home, don my pinny, and clean every inch of the house with nothing more noxious than a squeeze of lemon juice, a sprinkle of bicarb, and a whole lot of elbow grease.

Not for me the towering pile of ironing looming ominously over the top of the washing basket, the layer of not-so-fine dust and cat hair covering every surface, or the quick fix of fish fingers and oven chips...

Yeah, right!

I am far more likely to be found arsing about in the garden taking photos of myself and flashing my petticoat!

What has it got in its pocketses?

(Our family are all very much looking forward to the release of The Hobbit.)

I can cook fine, I just don't like it much.

I hate the drudgery and pointlessness of housework. 

But sometimes even I have to make an effort.

It's Seldom Seen's 9th birthday today, so there was a cake to make, and beds to change ready for a sleepover, and tea to shop for and prepare, and even a bit of hoovering to be done (encouraged by Melanie's tales of Upright Love).

I found these devil horns while I was tidying up, don't they match my outfit perfectly?

I always prefer the uncooked cake mixture to the final product somehow.

Maintaining high levels of hygiene at all times, obviously...

Dead Ringer for Love was on the radio.

My Top Tip for Successful Baking - have a little dance in the kitchen. Makes it all much more bearable.

Hmm, bit on the wonky side. But there is nothing wrong with a bit of wonk.

I even had time for a lunch of yesterday's leftover homemade spicy butternut squash soup and two of the best cheeses ever - Gouda flavoured with wasabi, and a white Stilton with red chilli.

Mmmm, I believe in cheeses.

And I bought this fabulous pan at Chesterfield flea market yesterday for £2.
It has Oct 1973 stamped on the bottom and looks unused.

Perfect for more winter soups.

Or Turnip Surprise.

1970s dress - vintage market
Cardigan, shoes, tights, bangles and petticoat - charity shopped
Blue beads - gift from Liz

So do I pass muster as a Domestic Goddess? Are you convinced?

Nah - the devil's in the domesticity!

I'll be round to visit your blogs when the boys are asleep.
I may be some time...

Have a wonderful weekend, my friends!


Vix said...

You vision of domesticity! Get you with your fabulous devil horns, flirty skirt and chocolate cake. All this talk of fancy cheeses and petticoat baring has got me spilling my wine over the keyboard in excitement.
I'm glad that your house always has a resident cat on the table when there's food about, too. I can't enjoy dinner without a subtle sprinkling of hair.
Hope the Seldom seem kid has a brilliant birthday and that the gang buns out early enough for some quality time for Mama and Papa.
Love and domesticity! xxxxxxxxxxxx

Loo xx from Jumbles and Pompoms said...

I totally agree with your comment that the devil's in domesticity. I haven't done a stroke of cleaning on my day off today. Ive been arsing around, stroking my vintage sheets and dying my hair. Whoop whoop. As for baking, I'm completely rubbish at it but you, dear Curtise, are one hot baking mama. That cake looks the bees knees and so do you, as always. Have a great weekend. Xx

Connie said...

Oh My! You are singing my SONG!!! I am often surprised that my family has survived for so long under my *ahem* care! Keep flashing those petticoats. La la la di da.

Judy C said...

I must try to wear a dress. You look like you are having such fun with them. And I, too, am looking forward to seeing Hobbitses.

Thrift Bee said...

Wow, great looking cake. Lucky birthday boy, I hope he had a lovely day. You do look rather fetching in your pinnie and horns.
I think you have your priorities pretty straight.

Anonymous said...

Your outfit's great - especially with the devil horns.
What I'd really like to know is, how you don't end up covered in flour as I do?
I agree that the mixture is better than the cake - delicious!
Have a lovely weekend.

Krista said...

You are a Goddess for shizzle but who could let you do all that work looking so good, you should be outside photographing your fabulous self! That dress with it's pockets is absolutely sweet and there is that peep of your petticoat that always makes me smile and wonder where did I put mine :)

Nice job on that cake, it looks bowl looking good too! Did kitty really get a lick, naughty Mommy! I am an absolute nut for cheeses and both of these sound like something I would hide from everyone else and save only for me :) especially that stilton with red chili, I'm drooling! that butternut squash soup looks pretty tasty too, do the kids eat that?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to OWEN! Have fun with that party and your weekend!

Amber of Butane Anvil said...

Praise be to cheeses! Thank you for the glimpse behind the scenes, and the reveal of the devil horns along with your true nature, which I adore more and more and more. You are even perfecter. Your cardigan is spectacular, silhouette amazing, and ripe for petticoat flashing.

Happy Hoovering!

Um, I mean, enjoy the party!


Vintage Coconut said...

Happy Birthday to your boy!
You rock red better than any other devil could. ;)
KITTY TEAPOT picture made me smile.
Crazy about your new turnip surprise pot.

silvergirl said...

your kitchen pics are adorable
love that cardi you are sporting
i am glad someone else agrees that housework is kinda pointless
(i know it has to be done )

Fiona said...

We are in agreement about housework and who wants to be a domestic goddess anyway ? Bloody boring I'd say. Did you do the obligatory finger sucking a la Nigella when you made Owens cake ? It looks delicious by the way and obviously puss thinks so too. I've done tons of housework today, only because I've got friends coming tomorrow whose gaffs are both mega tidy. I've made soup and the oven's on for a chocolate fudge cake. Fabbo saucepan and a bargain at £2. Hope the boys behave themselves and Owen has a great birthday.

Anonymous said...

You're certainly a Domestic Goddess in my book! And seeing you so sweetly busy in your English kitchen boosts my vote even more. Jeez, just the fact that you made a dessert is an extraordinary accomplishment in my kitchen, and cake is my man's favorite food. Not just favorite dessert, but favorite FOOD. I'm so mean and selfish. ;(

Love that skirt, reminds me of one I lost at a dry cleaners. They changed owners and lost two skirts of mine plus they didn't speak English so I gave up.

The calligram of you on the side looks beautiful. Did you get the original yet? I'm hoping it's not crumpled.
Your such a source of inspiration to me Curtise! Keep on doing what you're doing.

Penny-Rose said...

Hope Seldom Seen has a great birthday, the cake looks yummy. You look fabulous - have a great weekend!

Louise Mc said...

Red really looks lovely on you, and how could you possibly have time to look that fabulous and be a Domestic Goddess too. I hate cleaning, with a passion, I do enjoy cooking though. X

Vintage Coconut said...

P.S. No I cannot believe you do not check your shoes for spiders. I don't do it daily just with the ones that have long gaps between wearing. *LOL* I think your a brave brave soul.

Lakota [Faith Hope and Charity Shopping] said...

Hip hop happy birthday to the seldom seen kid! Music and dancing is essential in any kitchen, I like to share my moves with the house opposite by admiring myself in the window as I go...

Looking devilishly undomesticated in the garden, just as we like you. Have a great weekend my precious.

Trees said...

You're much more of a domestic goddess than I - I love that you found matching devil horns when you were cleaning up and I also love the cake baking pictures and the cake looks fab too!

Misfits Vintage said...

Happy Birthday Owen!

You are the image of domestic divinity, darling - cooking! baking! making beds! You are splendid and inspirational!

I don't iron, bake or garden... I cook the same three meals every night. I vacuum/sweep occasionally (when I can no longer bear to walk around barefoot) and change the linen when I remember... who cares!

Love your outfit - and I agree that dancing in the kitchen is an absolute MUST! LOOOVE! Sarah xxx

Lucy Nation said...

You seem way more domesticated than I ever could be. Hate domestic chores, so mundane. I tidy up when I have to and hardly ever cook! That cake looks delicious and you look fab in your red outfit xxx

Lucy Nation said...

Btw, the pan and 70's coffee pot rock! x

Caroline said...

I love Dead Ringer for Love. I have to pretend to be Cher whenever I hear it, it's obligatory. As is eating raw cake mixture.

I love the pan. Born the same month and year as me and just as decorative in the kitchen.


lucy joy said...

You are a goddesses, a general goddess! The best kind.
You do what is necessary and.important, and that means having fun in between the thankless and soul-destroying chores which come with looking after other people and pets day in day out.

Mmmmm cheese mmmmm cake (having a Homer moment while I.think.what to write next).

You can just're family is happy and the children are well cared for. Too much control freakery cleanliness makes for a dull woman and frustrated kids. My theory is; nobody ever died wishing they had spent more time cleaning....but shopping and posing? And eating cheese? And making friends?


Belated birthday wishes to seldom seen, have a great weekend

Lucy x

Sacramento Amate said...

Fabulous skirt Curtise, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
have a lovely weekend.

Melanie said...

Happiest of birthdays to your seldom seen xx

Miss Simmonds Says said...

Firstly - I'm soooooo excited about the Hobbit!!
And secondly I also prefer cake mixture to the finished product, same goes for biscuit dough.
I love your domestic goddess look, the red petticoat is divine, but mostly I want to come round and eat all your cheeses!! Where are they from? And the soup is making me hungry! Xxxx

Bohemian vanity said...

Haha i believe in cheeses too ! I LOVE the wasabi gouda sooo much it tastes so yum ! Your outfit is very nice- lucky you for such a find. And the cardi is too adorable ! Have a fabby weekend ! XX

grunge-queen said...

I had to come back and read this a second time, Curtise, as it's priceless and charmingly phrased as always. I think you are in fact a Domestic Goddess, whipping up that lovely cake in your cheeky skirt and petticoat! Hope the B-day celebrations were a blast.

P.S. Thank you for your thoughtful comment on my post a few weeks ago. :) xoxo

Lynne DeVenny said...

Actually, when I read your first paragraph, I became very still and sad, because I thought I knew you, but you had reached domestic heights I could never aspire to.

Whew. So glad you let the cat lick the bowls. I'll never forget the first time my very correct grandmother saw one of us let a dog lick the last of the milk out of a cereal bowl. She didn't want to eat of mom's dishes ever again, even though we argued they were sterilized in the dishwasher.

I love your swirly, swirly skirt, and will request video from your next kitchen performance. Please :)

joyatri said...

WHAT!! You've shattered my image of you. I have lost faith in all humanity now!
Yeah, I only clean enough to avoid the spread of disease so I can relate.
You have 3 kids and pets, so you're still a domestic goddess in my book if you can manage to keep them all alive. (Not so sure I'd have any luck in caring for kids. Pets I can handle.)
Thanks for your comments regarding my blog. I had the sense that it was user unfriendly, but maybe it's not? I could see you in that 1970s-doing-1940s vintage dress I just bought. The vegan Yorkshire pudding I had was pretty good. Light on the inside and crisp on the outside as you said it should be.

Dawn said...

Oh your posts are so fun Curtise. This one is great, how about you Betty Crocker as we say in the states. Love so many things about this post. Cake, new pot, devil horns with matching outfit, your sassy ways, cats and your glass cabinets. Oh and humor. About dickies, a men's work pant. The brand is called Dickies. Also yes my sister and I have talked. I think that it was because of her that my mom doesn't talk to me. Its so screwed up. I'm just trying to keep my distance for now. Thank you so much for asking, you are a really good blogger friend. Have a great weekend. Dawn suitcase vignettes

Diane said...

A total vision of 1950's domestic godess!!! Cake looks fab! So youve been hob nobbing with Miss Debs have you! I'd love to know what she said!! xxx

angie said...

I love how you take something totally with no interest and make it into a brilliant blog post.Domesticity slowly but steadily kills our creative forces ...unless we blog and make fun of it.My best wishes for your son.

Gracie O'Tripp said...

A red hot outfit and you have red hot taste buds too it seems...wasabi and chili! I remember the first time I tasted wasabi...I thought it was avacado. I was quite surprised. Adorable post. Happy Birthday "Seldom Seen".

Annie said...

I'm well impressed with your baking skills. I'm sure your lad will have loved that cake.
Gorgeous dress. Red really suits you.
Not sure about the Turnip Surprise but I'll fight you for the cheese :-) xx

thorne garnet said...

yum, cake.....

Jean at said...

I think you're having way more fun than I did when my kids were that age! They will always remember their mum in the garden, being herself. Who cares about flawless dusting and perfect cakes? Fact is, they'll remember a funny, loving mum who made delicious comical cakes, and took them hiking.

Classic domesticity is highly overrated. But I think you've already got the memo. Lucky kids!!

Love the red petticoat, too.

bonsaimum said...

After reading the first paragraphs of your post I was ready to marry you!!!! Your outfit is magnifique, I particularly like the addition of the red horns.I fully support your use of hairy dishlickers, and the resultant cake is superb. Finally--Happy Birthday to your son. Hope he has a wonderful time. :)

Helga! said...

I'm convinced that you are the MOST splendid example of wonky wench deliciousness! I want to frolic with you in your domestic bliss, swapping stories of half arsed housework and hygenic inspector cats!!! O, and look fabularse, of course!
You can keep the stilton, though....
Love your gorgeousness!

BellaBean Vintage said...

Thank goddess for arsing around in the garden flashing petticoats! You look fab and those cheeses look delicious and enormous! Am salivating!

Melanie said...

Oh dear, you seem to have lifted your dress to reveal your petticoats! Oh, no, a little dance in the kitchen? (too much hoovering perhaps?)

You are both a domestic goddess and mother of the year making that divine Wonky Cake, a personal favourite. I hope Seldom Seen had a fantastic birthday!!

Your posts always make me laugh. It's my second visit to this one... How I would love to come over for some cheese and petticoat flashing.

Camelia Crinoline said...

Oh yes, domestic drudgery is rather boring. Although, I do love to cook and bake as long as I don't have to clean up the mess. You look good in a pinny. I'm pretty sure I've said it before but that cardigan is fabulous.

delia hornbook said...

I have to agree with you about house work being boring i have a little routein i stick to every day and it takes me just over an hour to complete it i think the tip to an orderly and clean house is a little bit every day and then its play time :-) Happy birthday to Owen his cake looked yummy im the same as you though the best part is licking out the bowl ;-) Your looking just as yummy as ever love your red blouse. Loved that vintage pot you bought to that pattern is fab and just makes you want to dance. Have a great week sweetie, dee xxx

Vicky Hayes said...

You bloomin' well are a domestic goddess Curtise and I can't imagine why you haven't got a book coming out in time for Christmas! Love the dancing in the kitchen tip and could I just add that cooking with wine is a good plan too (alhough not at breakfast time obviously... hic!) We're all looking forward to Hobbitses too. Vicky x

Miss Maple said...

I wish I could find so pretty shoes while op shopping. Love all the reds. The cardigan is awesome as well. Am I right? Are there poppies on it?

Mrs. D said...

Hmmm, cake, I want cake now!

Red is always a fave and of course I have to love this outfit. The poppies shirt is fabulous, I'll snag it from you when you're not looking :D

The devil horns make for a perfect accessory - nothing like being a little devilish once in a while.



Anonymous said...

You are a fetchingingly stunning Domestic Goddess!!!
uuummmmm CHEESE!!!
Your cake is cute!!

Forest City Fashionista said...

Being an excellent housekeeper is overrated - you are definitely having way more fun making wonky cakes (it looks very yummy!) flashing your frills and dancing in the kitchen and I applaud you for it! I hope that Seldom Seen had a great birthday.

CityScape Skybaby said...

Ooh I missed this one, you definitely are a domestic goddess Curtise, home made cake, home made soup and all done while being devilishly stylish, you could show Nigella a thing or two. I kind of left Pat holding the fort all day Saturday and I'm kind of happy to say the house was an utter tip when I got back, I was a bit worried Pat would have managed brilliantly then he'd be wondering why I don't. It's good to let everyone see this place may be a mess most of the time but I am keeping it just about afloat. xx

Secret Squirrel said...

Wow, that cake looked good. I am one for licking the bowl too :-) what a heroine, doing chores (please, just the bare minimum, I hope), baking, entertaining kiddlies and STILL having time to entertain the blogsphere.

P.s. do yor neighbours notice the photo shoots?

karensomethingorother said...

there is nothing that can match the charm of the homemade, well-adorned cake. Nothing. Love your domestic goddess look by the way, and I have to agree with you: housework nearly kills me. Every damn time.

Marjorie said...

Love love love this post. Best wishes to Owen for his birthday.

Kitty said...

Goddes of domesticity, hmm let me see, come over and do *my* hoovering and we'll see! Goddess of the cheese, DEFINTIELY!! Because wasabi gouda? Seriously? Get OUT, that is too awesome, I want it!!
But most of all you're goddess of the comedy, you always make me laugh.xx.

Pull Your Socks Up! said...

I'm a firm believer in domestic sluttery and I know such a goddess when I see one:)). Petticoat glory and apron delight and bloody hell I LOVE oven chips! It's all so wonderful! Kitty of Kitty's Vintage Kitsch came over the other day to drop off our gramaphone player and I was in me knickers, stacking shoe boxes in the lounge with the house looking perfectly appalling. Bless her. Dancing in the kitchen is compulsory and look at that damn fine soup and cheese feast with puss pretending to be disinterested in licking the Stilton;) xoxo