perfumery, stationery and leather goods, wigs and haberdashery, kitchenware and food.
Would you give this woman a job?
She's fairly bright, can string a sentence together, has a smattering of social skills, turns up on time, and is willing to work for minimum wage, while smiling and burying her natural bile and sarcasm deep within for the duration of the working day.
I passed my telephone interview on Monday, and I have been invited to a Recruitment Event tomorrow, which involves group and individual interviews.
Since I usually dress like this...
... I drew a bit of a blank in my wardrobe when searching for some suitable interview wear.
So I panicked, and went and bought something new.
It still has its tags on, I might change my mind and take it back, but so far, I'm thinking it's OK.
Vix suggested wearing my green 1950s jacket, and who am I to disagree?
I know I can't go for an interview for a high street store dressed head to toe in vintage.
And I know that if I am offered a job, I will be expected to wear a uniform.
And I don't want them to write me off from the get-go as a maverick who can't play by the rules.
But I also feel the need to keep just a little bit of me in the mix.
1950s brocade jacket - Second to None
Betty Jackson Black @ Debenhams dress - retail, sale (linking cos I want a job)
Shoes and bangles - charity shopped
Micromosaic brooch - charity vintage sale
I might swap out these tights for nude fishnets or sheer black; I might take off the fabric tie belt that came with the dress and add a narrow green leather one.
The last interview I had was 3 years ago.
It was for a job which I should have been able to do with my eyes closed, linked as it was to my old career in mental health. The role was well within my professional skill set and experience.
The panel of interviewers had a sheet in front of them where they ticked a box as I said what they wanted to hear. As the interview progressed, I was aware that they were looking at me, and not ticking anything.
I, quite literally, did not tick m/any of their boxes. And there was me, thinking that was merely a metaphor...
So, err, yeah, I'm feeling a bit anxious. Forgive me.
I want not to care. I want to laugh about it, and be dismissive of a recruitment process which seems disproportionately intensive for the position of temporary shop assistant .
But I also want the job.
I want to get back into paid employment, to have half a hope of starting again as a working person, with earning potential. I want my kids to see me as able to do something other than cooking and ironing. Only Eldest (just about) remembers me as a working mum.
(As always, no disrespect to stay-at-home mums intended at all. Only speaking for myself, no judgment implied about anyone else.)
1970s maxi dress - gift from that divine cover girl Helga
1970s English Lady lurex blouse - Ebay
Sandals and necklace - retail (sale)
Bangles and belt - charity shopped
I thought I would get my vintage colour on today, to get it out of my system before tomorrow!
The blouse was a freebie; I bought the matching maxi skirt on Ebay, and the seller included the top in the parcel, which was kind.
So here I am, pondering the elements of good customer service, what skills I have to offer, and how to sell frocks. Or bras. Or toys. Or sheets.
Wish me luck!