The only time I read anything about fashion (trends and seasons and all that guff) is either on the occasional blog, or in the Guardian and Observer newspapers.
A cursory glance, usually accompanied by a snort and some eye-rolling, and that's as far as my interest takes me. Thankfully, I don't think anyone comes to this blog for cutting-edge fashion analysis or trend-spotting.
You'd be sorely disappointed.
So I had a little chuckle to myself when I read in Saturday's Guardian magazine (read on Sunday because I am slow) that this season, black and white is trying to be fun.
Just look what I was wearing at the time!
Get me - as on trend (just try and imagine the disdain with which I say those words and the accompanying facial expression) as you like.
Charlie and Min have no idea what all the fuss is about - they always rock black and white.
The dress was bought in a charity shop for £4.
It's easy enough to wear - no ironing required, pull on, add accessories, job's a good 'un.
But something about the shape brought out my inner Regency lady - and who knew I had one of them?
I'm ready for my reticule and poke bonnet now.
What do you mean, poke bonnets are soooo last season?
It's good to know satirists poked (ha!) fun at fashion trends back then too.
Loving those turbans and feathers; and like me, they added a splash of red to relieve the monochrome monotony.
I'm the mistress of the cotillion and the quadrille, the belle(nd) of the ball.
Now throw your hands in the air, and wave 'em like you just don't care.
Those Jane Austen heroes don't really do it for me, although the women have a bit more spark about them.
I always thought Elizabeth Bennett deserved better than sour-faced Mr Darcy, and Emma was in for a life of very proper behaviour but few laughs with Mr Knightley.
Yes, Fitzwilliam, the sun does shine out of your moody and magnificent arse, but when does the fun start?
I've been told black and white is supposed to be fun this season, darling.
Everything charity shopped (even my unseen bra), apart from a bangle from Miss Tania Freckleface, esteemed spinster of this parish.
I hope you all had a most ladylike and elegant weekend.
I will be joining Patti and the lovely ladies over at Visible Monday - you'll spot me, I'll be the one in black and white wearing a bonnet!