Do ya think I'm sexy?

So do ya?

And do you think you're sexy?

There's been a bit of sexy talk going on lately; read Bella's, Jane's and Tamera's thoughts over at their blogs.

Jane hasn't posted her proposed link up of bloggers looking sexy, but I had intended to use this photo as my contribution.

Do I look sexy? No idea.

 I don't much care, and that's my point.

 I felt good, I was wearing a frock that I love, I was having a little dance and a swoosh in my garden on a sunny day, and not thinking much about anything except enjoying myself and having a laugh.

And if we are saying sexiness is all in the attitude and the confidence (and we are saying that, aren't we?) and not about age or shape or size, not about nudity or exposure or fake body parts, then I guess I'm as sexy as anyone else.

Just take a moment to go and type sexy into Google Images.

Go on - I'll wait for you.

Are you back?

How are you feeling?

Amused, appalled, saddened, depressed, angry, resigned?

 Or do you feel sexy?

 No, me neither.

Our culture does conflate semi/nudity with sexiness, it's a lad's mag view of women, all big hair and pouts, tits and ass, lots of flesh.

It's a parody of sexy, a cartoon/porn version.

So do ya think I'm sexy?

I don't mind dressing up, slapping on a wig and some false eyelashes, showing a bit of cleavage and some leg.

But I'm joking; it's not the real me, it's that cartoon version of sexy again. It's role playing, Circus/Bordello Girl, or Cabaret Dancer, or Housewife Pin-Up.

It's not the me who takes the kids to school, schleps round Lidl, clears out the cat litter tray, takes the rubbish out, cooks dinner, loads the dishwasher, meets friends for coffee, volunteers in class.

Am I sexy doing those things? Of course not. Do I want to be? No, not really.

Is anyone sexy all the time, in everything they do? Would that not be a bit strange?

Our sexiness can fluctuate, as can our expression of it.

It's affected by the state of our relationships, by confidence and self-esteem issues, by hormonal changes, by depression, by anxiety, grief, fatigue, or illness.

  

Hot? Not?

The truth is, sexiness is highly subjective, complex, personal and sensitive, and for most of us, very private, it's virtually impossible to define, and therefore even harder to discuss in any meaningful way.

 

And even though it's a term I use too, I am increasingly fed up with sexiness being the currency, the thing that matters. Melanie wrote something similar here (a whole year ago, my goodness!);

 I am so tired of the word sexy I want to scream!! Sexy's rightful home is in the brain and so far they don't make lacy push-up brain bras.

It's a shorthand, I suppose, a quick way of saying someone has a particular brand of confidence, sass, charisma and style. It doesn't rely on beauty or physical attributes, and it doesn't depend on dressing a certain way. It's a part of who we are, we may choose to deliberately enhance and display it, or we may not. It's not all we are.

Would I be offended if you said I wasn't sexy?

No.

Would I be offended if you said I was unintelligent and inarticulate?

Yes.

I trawled through a whole load of my old photos looking for images to include in this post.

Try it - it's quite a challenge to look at yourself and consider whether you look sexy or not.

This shot is old, poor quality, I'm wearing trousers (a jumpsuit actually), I'm covered up, no wig, no playing a character or hamming it up.

And yes, I do think I'm sexy.


Edit: linking up after all with Jane at Flight Platform Living for her Shiny T Tuesday!

xxxxxx