The Trouser Question

Now you will have noticed that I don't wear trousers very often. I used to - all the time really, but skirts and dresses have been my preferred options of late.

In the spirit of not being a one trick pony, I though I'd break out of my Frock Block and try trousers and (oh Good Lord!) jeans!

                 And it's certainly made me realise why I prefer not to wear them. I look bloody awful, hahaha!

So have a look at these photos, which quite possibly should have been consigned to the Dustbin of Delete, and see what you think.

These trousers are mad! I found them on the half price rail in one of my local charity shops, they are Red Valentino, no less, and they cost £2. I bought them to sell really but couldn't resist trying them on. Eldest LB begged me not to wear them out and about, so of course I did.

                                                       Not quite so crazy in this side-on pose maybe...

... but full frontal shows the pattern detail on my crotch which looks remarkably like genitalia. A sort of Rorschach inkblot image of a tulip-as-penis and pink labia. You see it, don't you? It's like an invitation to my lady garden writ large. Actually most Rorschach inkblots look vaguely vulval (is that a word?) to me, which I suppose must make something of statement about my psyche!

                                                               And here's the tradesman's entrance.

                                               Littlest didn't seem to mind the fact that I looked insane. 

            So - no, I won't be wearing them again, I'm not really that keen on strangers side-eyeing my crotch. No, really.

Next up. A chilled-out lazy Sunday look, I thought. Boyfriend jeans and a hippy-ish top, that should be fine. And that Chinese silk waistcoat again, cos I like it.

See, I don't look so bad in this side pose, but front on, you can see how unflattering these jeans are. And to think I used to wear them all the time!

I can hardly bear to post this but for the purposes of making a point, I'll let you see how short and stumpy my legs look (and I'm 5'8" and wearing heels), and how the unsightly, badly fitting crotch draws attention yet again to my garden of delights.

I was determined to keep trying, so here's my final attempt at jeans.I only possess one pair of skinny jeans and have always thought they do nothing for me, but on the evidence of these photos, they are the best of the bunch.

                                                  How do other women make jeans look so cool and effortless?

 Excuse the blurry indoor photos, it's been so dreary all day, and I couldn't face dragging myself and the tripod outside in the rain again.
                                      

Joni talked here about getting her thinking cap on - I felt the need to do the same to find a solution to the how to wear trousers question...

                                                           ... though I fear the answer may be - just don't!

          I hope you appreciate that I make a fool of myself so you don't have to. It's all part of the service! No charge. xxxxx