tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8489237810886177584.post1230162821015008019..comments2024-01-06T05:44:45.740-08:00Comments on The Secondhand Years: It's different for girlsCurtisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10362184504889147455noreply@blogger.comBlogger43125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8489237810886177584.post-25506908242833175632013-05-29T05:06:23.496-07:002013-05-29T05:06:23.496-07:00I'm so glad facebook wasn't around when I ...I'm so glad facebook wasn't around when I was at school, kids can be nasty so and sos. I hope your lovely girls situation is better now.<br />I love your dress and those ankle strap shoes are just lovely xxxMelaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12238571735302117986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8489237810886177584.post-55262186534020878602013-05-27T06:35:02.529-07:002013-05-27T06:35:02.529-07:00What a lovely story about your daughter. She look...What a lovely story about your daughter. She looked so charming with the muffin batter on her face as well. Is there a difference between being a grudge holder and saying "fuck you," and then just moving on down the road? I feel like the latter is a little more que sera, sera. I don't know--I'm in my 40's now, and that means I'm fine with who I am, and if someone is a dick to me, I have no time for them any longer, but I still am, and always have been, a fairly nice person in most regards. <br /><br />OH hell, this is hardly coherent. I don't know--don't you think your girlie can take SOME credit from you? I would think so. <br />karensomethingorotherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14476544335741075497noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8489237810886177584.post-21296090128133738102013-05-27T01:05:48.626-07:002013-05-27T01:05:48.626-07:00She's a better grown up than me too! What a be...She's a better grown up than me too! What a beauty she is - in nature and in lovely chocolatey face. Give her a lovely big cuddly kissy snuggly hug from me, please. <br /><br />And then give yourself one - for you surely must have done something to contribute to her loveliness? And even if you didn't go ahead an give yerself a butt pinch from me, just because. <br /><br />Now... to the frock... HELLO! I love the almost pregnant 49 year old schoolgirl looks fabulous on you. I LOVE it over the blouse (why do I never think to wear my sleeveless frocks over blouses??) and I love you looking all breezy and relaxed and happy and beautiful. <br /><br />And I LOVE the 1971 pic so much. Thank you <br /><br />Love your everything - skype soon?<br /><br />Sarah xxxAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16235255775524330362noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8489237810886177584.post-58823885312938361552013-05-26T20:15:29.840-07:002013-05-26T20:15:29.840-07:00I've admired you for a long time and now I fee...I've admired you for a long time and now I feel the same way about your lovely daughter. Though Camille is an adult, I find myself thinking that she's better than me in a similar way that you discuss in your post. As for the 'mean girl' scenario, it's very painful to watch our children go through difficult times, and that doesn't seem to change as they become adults. Once a parent, always a parent! It sounds like you've created a close and loving relationship with your daughter, which will serve her well as the years unfold.<br /><br />Your 1971 photo is a treasure. Though the wind is blowing, I think your ensemble is beautiful, accessorized by the gifted and lovely stainless steel pendant.The Style Cronehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03760710805926873206noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8489237810886177584.post-73802137054182340332013-05-26T12:19:38.732-07:002013-05-26T12:19:38.732-07:00Ah, I know you aren't a mommy blogger, but I d...Ah, I know you aren't a mommy blogger, but I do like it when your children pop up on the blog. I don't feel any urge to have children, so am destined to be a Damn Good Auntie, and I like hearing about what you get up to with them. Also because you aren't all la-laa-la-my-children with every conversation!<br /><br />But this stuff is important. That age is so bloody hard to grow through. I am glad you intervened with the other Mum, sometimes it just needs to be done. You must be so proud of her.<br /><br />And slightly lowbrow - good to get the air circulating, I say! Hee hee ;-) xxxRachelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12542227084829463384noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8489237810886177584.post-45244870316190877962013-05-26T08:28:36.445-07:002013-05-26T08:28:36.445-07:00Great dress, Curtise! You always look so beautiful...Great dress, Curtise! You always look so beautifully put together. And how wonderful to receive that lovely gift of the silver pin from your friend.<br /><br />That's an insightful comment about children sometimes having the ability to deal with things better than adults. Their view of the world is not always layered with the histories that we have. I often contemplate taking a perspective on life which includes more tolerance, forgiveness and compassion - the very qualities you describe in your daughter.<br /><br />11 is a tough age. I remember it being said that it's an age when you're no longer a little child but aren't a teen either. It was certainly a tough age for me, so much so that I told myself that I would NEVER forget what it was like to be 11 when I grew up. That helped me a lot as a teacher. Bless your little one's heart. xxxAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8489237810886177584.post-85990822487198860912013-05-26T07:22:00.149-07:002013-05-26T07:22:00.149-07:00Your eldest has the makings of a wise woman indeed...Your eldest has the makings of a wise woman indeed. That childhood photo of you is so sweet! xxxxEmma Kate at Paint and Stylehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14186765005284249653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8489237810886177584.post-20863080945627174122013-05-26T05:43:14.811-07:002013-05-26T05:43:14.811-07:00Your eldest is clearly a beautiful chip off the ol...Your eldest is clearly a beautiful chip off the old block, wishing good things for her. Love your maxi dress Curtise, and billowing around the nether regions can only be a good thing! Like you, I tend to keep my dresses streamlined to prevent the big tits = pregnancy look, it does make a different doesn't it!Flora Crufthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07385768002996279526noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8489237810886177584.post-27827720981738312212013-05-26T00:15:43.106-07:002013-05-26T00:15:43.106-07:00What a lot you've given me to think about this...What a lot you've given me to think about this last week...I've still got poor old Lucy Jordan on my mind...(a sad tale no-one would deny but at least her husband went out to work I find myself thinking bitterly...!)<br />I know that motherhood is one of the many areas of life in which you are superbly competent Curtise - so it doesn't surprise me one drop that your children are all such well balanced individuals. I think the 'meanness' of some girls is a real challenge and I find it very hard to separate out my own feelings from the way the kids are feeling when they talk about the ups and downs of their friendships...there seem to be so many triggers that take me right back to my own childhood/adolescence.<br />I love the photo of you at 7. I have a very similar picture of me same hairdo and similar large wide ribbon - we had a box (an old chocolate box) that housed ribbons of every size and hue - there was no outfit for which a matching ribbon could not be found. I'd have no sooner gone out without a ribbon than without my knickers...And as a special treat sometimes - I used to get to tidy the ribbon box..folding them all up and arranging them in an appealing fashion. Have a lovely week Curtise XXXbarbarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13043261393273300770noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8489237810886177584.post-28446624024033962622013-05-25T23:32:41.627-07:002013-05-25T23:32:41.627-07:00I think your daughter is as she is because of you ...I think your daughter is as she is because of you Curtise, (maybe her dad had a little bit to do with it too) you've brought her up well and taught her how to be a decent human being and you're seeing the fruits of your labours now. I am a massive grudge holder too by the way, so it's nice to meet someone else who admits it! I really admire you for talking to the girl's mum about it, I'm never good at dealing with other parents when there's issues and I wish I had your courage to do that. One thing I have to say is it's not just girls who can be nasty at that age. My daughter sailed through school but my son had an awful time because of bullies, and it got much worse for him after he stood up for a girl who was being bullied by boys and girls. I remember him being outraged that some of the boys attacked this girl, he just couldn't understand how boys would do that to a girl. I think people in general can just be nasty arseholes sometimes and they zero in on the gentle natured ones, then there's people who restore your faith in human nature and make up for the nasty ones. Love seeing the seven year old Curtise, your girls are very like you, you were such a cutie, and still a cutie today! Hope you're having a great weekend. xxCityScape Skybabyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10664705819999740018noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8489237810886177584.post-53547808352528944812013-05-25T13:21:05.222-07:002013-05-25T13:21:05.222-07:00Oh you were such an adorable little girl. Just lov...Oh you were such an adorable little girl. Just lovely. And your daughter has obviously turned out the same. How wonderful she sounds, so wise to not bother with all the negative stuff and so kind to decide to forgive so quickly. I admire her very much.<br /><br />I rather like a pregnancy style dress and I particularly like you in this one. There's something rather floaty and feminine about it. I'd much rather flash granny pants than a tiny bit of string and butt cheeks!! :) xxxfrecklefacehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15881334320685123475noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8489237810886177584.post-10556799223078019082013-05-24T20:45:09.887-07:002013-05-24T20:45:09.887-07:00First things first....gorgeous frock. I love the p...First things first....gorgeous frock. I love the print & the way you've mixed it up with the top underneath. I need the cardi to pull in my silhouette too, or else I really do look like I'm pregnant! Funky pendant from Miss V too. I love that you see yourself in your daughter, but you also see some of the qualities you would like to have. They do say kids often reflect the best & the worst in us. But I wouldn't really know.....not being a Mum & all! But girls can be mean, I think at another level to when I was a girl! XxVintage Bird Girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12391080285073918532noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8489237810886177584.post-48198892343823578332013-05-24T17:20:49.484-07:002013-05-24T17:20:49.484-07:00It is lovely to read about how proud you are your ...It is lovely to read about how proud you are your daughter and I am sorry about the bullying. Kids can be soooo mean but they can also be so open and understanding and forgiving and mature and they often put us to shame. (I love your frock and really like the cute blouse underneath -damn those tricky winds and nana undie flashing!)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04167273551412476360noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8489237810886177584.post-81774452954872387852013-05-24T14:49:27.846-07:002013-05-24T14:49:27.846-07:00It sounds like your girl has some lovely traits. I...It sounds like your girl has some lovely traits. It's such a difficult age, and only gets worse with teenage years. It's good that she is forgiving and doesn't hold a grudge, I am very like that too. I'm sure that over the years though, she will learn when a relationship is worth giving a second chance and when to just forget it and move on. Not hold a grudge, but a spit of self-preservation. XxLouise Mchttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14858832660475944060noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8489237810886177584.post-51075911454884471632013-05-24T12:46:28.186-07:002013-05-24T12:46:28.186-07:00she sounds so lovely..i am sure just like her mum,...she sounds so lovely..i am sure just like her mum, even though you would have us believe otherwise! i have learnt more from my kids than I am sure we will ever teach them in return! I am sure we really grow and discover ourselves when parenthood kicks in! some things ive learnt i don't like but other things are pretty cool! by the way you as a seven year old...oh dress sister...how cute! xxxAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12648229748088235109noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8489237810886177584.post-81346555097063849452013-05-24T11:54:46.319-07:002013-05-24T11:54:46.319-07:00Several things:
Love your hair today... that out-t...Several things:<br />Love your hair today... that out-take in the breeze is GREAT!<br />Sweet dress, and you in it.<br /> <br />I'm a grudge holder too. I am always thrilled to meet another woman who admits to it. That way, no one is surprised when you walk off in a huff and stay that way.<br /><br />The Eldest is going to be a GREAT BEAUTY ... of the Continental kind, that the boys love from afar, and write rock ballads about. Seems she's going to be a "great girl" as well. That's unstoppable given that's she's also whip-smart.<br />I'm sorry she's having a rough bout with a friend, who is likely jealous and insecure. Tough time for Eldest, and so glad for her that she has you to let her know it will, ulitmately, be alright. So good that you are helping her manage the bumps in the way you are. Sounds like it's just the right amount.<br /><br />I really admire your attitude toward your daughter. Mine will be 40 her next birthday, and although we're not estranged, we just don't interest each other much. She's right and I'm left, and that covers a lot of territory. We bore each other but we are both stubborn as rocks about it. So, I'm REALLY happy for you that you have this admiration for this one that began as your creation and now is in the process of belonging to herself. So much better this way. You done good, and you're fortunate in your lovely girl.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12630135395645059302noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8489237810886177584.post-41690744863615109582013-05-24T09:17:13.032-07:002013-05-24T09:17:13.032-07:00I adore your 7 yr old pix and I must say Eldest ta...I adore your 7 yr old pix and I must say Eldest takes after you!!<br /><br />And that maxi is stunning with a blouse under it. So what if you may have flashed the neighbors!!<br /><br />Sigh--the pre-teen/teen years are such a minefield for girls. you are absolutely taking the right stance--keep the lines open to talk and encourage her to take the high road and never sink to their level. I always told Julie it's best to stay above the drama as much as possible. It's not easy but it's the MATURE thing to do. <br />I also tried to instill in her that being "popular" isn't all it's cracked up to be. <br />Those girls tear others down because they are insecure. You need to be secure and satisfied in your talents and accomplishments and not need other's opinions for your self-worth.<br />That approach certainly kept us out of the worst of the "mean girl" crapola. <br />Sounds like you are raising an amazing young lady.<br /><br /> <br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8489237810886177584.post-15101729921065132322013-05-24T08:22:18.159-07:002013-05-24T08:22:18.159-07:00Hi, my daughter is 11 and her friend was having a ...Hi, my daughter is 11 and her friend was having a hard time with another child. My daughter asked how her friend felt and the friend replied'' that they did not value that persons opinion so on that basis they were not offended''... I thought that was quite a good way of looking at the situation. Miss Piggy Bankhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15886893128634012341noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8489237810886177584.post-16428792134114349372013-05-24T06:48:10.418-07:002013-05-24T06:48:10.418-07:00I love her and I've never even met her. Wise,...I love her and I've never even met her. Wise, kind and beautiful.<br /><br /><br /><br />Debberoohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05326977864439812995noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8489237810886177584.post-33191126549196266722013-05-24T04:41:28.324-07:002013-05-24T04:41:28.324-07:00I'm glad your eldest can forgive like that; gr...I'm glad your eldest can forgive like that; grudges are a waste of a life. I know that now but not when I was her age. Well done her!<br />Love your frock!x Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8489237810886177584.post-70348948717909305602013-05-24T03:27:00.129-07:002013-05-24T03:27:00.129-07:00To forgive and forget is a great quality to deal w...To forgive and forget is a great quality to deal with an issue and move on from it takes a great character this is something that I do. Hanging onto an issue when it has been dealt with is a waste of energy in my book, life is short we don't know what is round the corner. You are a great mother and you have a beautiful daughter. dee xxxAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01807783495138462705noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8489237810886177584.post-19458206609329218352013-05-24T03:01:43.459-07:002013-05-24T03:01:43.459-07:00Was going to say, "I'm not a Mom" - ...Was going to say, "I'm not a Mom" - but wait, I AM! (Thanks for sweet comment on blog, btw). A child in my extended fam is experiencing social issues and possible bullying, and it is truly heartbreaking to see the effects. I'd be proud of Eldest too for her forgiving nature - 'tis Divine, as the expression goes. At the same time, and I hate to sound like a beetch here, but I learned the hard way that that special girl friend whom you've forgiven has the potential to come back and slap you in the face a second time (I forgave a girlfriend once and she came back for more a few years later). How I apply what I took from that experience today: if, say, a good friend gets plastered and introduces me to a stranger in a way that's so malicious I can't even write it here, well, I write that person off for good, regardless of the special times we've shared - because the problem is hers, not mine. I don't think it's a grudge to refuse to open one's self up to further pain and betrayal by a person who professes to be a friend. Eldest's friendship could stay the course or it could derail - either way, she'll have taken something from the experience. Hope that doesn't sound insensitive. Btw you could never be the kind of Mum you describe. :)<br /><br />Loving the pendant Vanessa sent you.<br /><br />Kelly xoxoxoAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8489237810886177584.post-78961183592787741332013-05-24T01:43:22.065-07:002013-05-24T01:43:22.065-07:00I come from a long line of stubborn, rightous wome...I come from a long line of stubborn, rightous women and I love them! <br />There's a place for being angry and annoyed I think because some things do matter and there's learning in it about right and wrong, self worth and how you want to be treated. Personality and desire to let go probably dictate how long you stay there. I don't think hanging on to it forever is so good but everyone processes at different speeds. If you're still in it a decade later though I suspect it's time for therapy! <br />Eldest sounds like a treasure!<br />As for the outfit - fab as always! BellaBean Vintagehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03542718390941884838noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8489237810886177584.post-43744565932019717702013-05-24T01:17:25.599-07:002013-05-24T01:17:25.599-07:00Sometimes we are worried about our children, we th...Sometimes we are worried about our children, we think they inherited with our genes all our weaknesses and it's so surprising to find out that they are better than what we have imagined and probabily stronger than us.<br />I'm so sorry for what happened to your daughter, I know how those kind of situations can ruin your days, especially if you consider those girls who hurt you to be your friends.<br />This happened to me for all my life, women are competitive and often weak and they find easier to bully and manipulate others than to look at themselves. My eldest is only 7 years old and she's already been disappointed by her friends behaviours in school, it's never too early to experience pain.<br />I admire that you helped your girl, I wish I could handle all my girls problems like you did.<br />Your photo at 7 is lovely, we are all full of dreams when we were children and we have to help our children to live their lives at their best.<br />Love xxxxxxx<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8489237810886177584.post-10117047787634489112013-05-24T00:51:48.779-07:002013-05-24T00:51:48.779-07:00Lovely post - no wonder you are so proud of your d...Lovely post - no wonder you are so proud of your daughter. She is a credit to you.<br />Liz @ Shortbread & GingerShortbread and Gingerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07356668729131346750noreply@blogger.com