Sunday, 4 December 2016

Remaking


Hi.
Anyone there?
Look, it's me.
Finally.


I've moved house, and have braved my first photo session in my new garden.
 
The neighbours will soon get used to the curious sight of me flouncing about and posing in ridiculous frocks...


1970s Betty Barclay dress - Mooch vintage shop
Vintage Bally boots and 1960s pendant - my shop 

So what can I tell you about life at the moment?

It's good.
 
The period leading up to the move was difficult. I am not usually much of a crier, and have been known to despise those who weep at the drop of a hat (their hat, anyone's hat). But good lord, I have cried more than I thought was humanly possible in the last 6 months or so. There were points when emotional distress manifested itself so physically, I was simply floored by it. 
 
When I cleared out the Cupboard of Doom, that repository of a lifetime's clutter and so many memories, I had to keep stopping to sob and try and catch my breath. The jacket, full price and extravagant at the time, to which I treated myself after a relationship break-up; the Chinese parasol I had up in my room all through my university years and beyond, yellowed with cigarette smoke and a little ragged around the edges; the rug made by my dad as therapy when he recovered from a bout of rheumatic fever in his youth; the dress I bought when I visited my dearest friend Deborah in America 20 years ago.
 
Three tiny sleepsuits, the first items worn by Claudia, Owen and Nina when they were born.  

The Sex Shoes. 
Oh don't ask...
 
Dismantling a life; it's really fucking hard.
 
 
I packed it all away, and moved.
And now I am in the process of remaking.

I know things are only things... But they hold associations and memories, and I like to have them around me, displayed and cherished. 


 Your comments on my last post also triggered many tears. You can't know how much your kindness, concern and encouragement meant to me, thank you very, very much. 
 
The support of my friends has been both overwhelming and essential during this time of great change.
 
 
 
 So I am settling into a new rhythm. And finding I like it. 

The house is lovely, I feel comfortable, and the kids like it too.

I'm hoping that I'll get myself back into a blogging routine again, now that the sturm und drang of the last few months have abated. I've missed it, missed all of you.

And thanks again for your patience and support. You're fab!

xxxx

45 comments:

Tami Von Zalez said...

I had been thinking of you and sooo glad to hear you have gotten over the largest hurdle. It should get easier now ~

Andrew Murphy said...

I'm so glad you're back and that things seem to be getting easier. I've missed your blog posts.

diaryofapennypincher said...

Ooh, how lovely to see you back! You appear to have settled in your new home and that spot in the garden looks just fab and made for you. Gorgeous outfit, looks so cosy and so very Curtise!

Fiona said...

Was lovely to hear from you earlier. So pleased that you and the kids are happy in your new place and that you are starting to make a new life. Crikey, it's been a huge and emotional upheaval you've been through, having at a boo at times like this is a good thing, I've found.
Love that frock! Ttfn xxxx

SAM said...

You are FAB! Rebuilding a life is courageous and scary at the same time. I can't realte, but have been an observer to others, and hoefully a source f support. Your neighbors will adore you I am sure.

Polyester Princess said...

It's so good to have you back, Curtise! After all the stress, emotional and otherwise, of the last six months, it must be quite liberating to come up for air and start your new life. Of course, things are only things, but they are memory keepers too, whether these memories are happy or sad, or both at the same time. I'm glad to read that you are finding a new rhythm and liking it. I love the frock and the boots, which look vaguely familiar! xxx

Ivy Black said...

Hello lovely. Fab to see you here and glad you've settled in at your new place. I bet you were floored by it all but the only way is up as someone once said. Take care gorgeous.xxxxx

Carina Rosenholm said...

So good to see you! And you look great! Hugs !

Veronica Cooke said...


It's so lovely to have you back, Curtise.

I'm so glad you've moved to a new house (new beginnings and all that) and I bet the neighbours will love you and your beautiful outfits. It's also nice to be surrounded by precious and familiar things - including your children!! Things will get easier and better I can assure you.

Love the Betty Barclay dress and the lovely boots.

Look forward to more posts soon...

xxx

Veronica
vronni60s.blogspot.com

Bryony said...

So good to hear this. Much love Bryony x

thorne garnet said...

thanks for coming back. You look wonderful, the neighbors will just have to get used to you flouncing around.

Jess J said...

Hi Curtise, I am so happy to hear from you, I've been missing your blog posts and I've been wondering how you've been. I'm glad that you are settling into your new routine. It's so true, items can hold memories and it's great that you are surrounding yourself with things that make you smile. Looking forward to hearing more from you. Xxx

Lisa said...

Lovely to see a post from you Curtise. I hope life continues to settle and many happy new memories will be made in your new home.
Lisa x

Miss Magpie said...

I can relate 100% to the uncontrollable weeping and how disturbing it is when you are not by nature a weepy person. I'm so, so glad you are settling in to your new home. Here's to a happy and wonderful 2017. x x

Natural Medley said...

Wow! Such a rough passage for you. I can't imagine how sore you must feel. Glad you are finding some light peeps in now. I love your plum, apricot and green (quick a green fruit name?) corner! Many hugs xo Jazzy Jack

Debberoo said...

Soooooo good to have you back! Apologies for being so shallow but you look fabulous and I love that dress. The shelves!!! Everything looks so at home nestled on there, just a pleasure to veiw. The green and peach spot, perfection. You've got this Curts, bloom and florish xxxxxxxx

Kezzie said...

I am glad you are ok but I am also sorry you have had such a difficult time. I can't imagine it, truly!!! Your new house is already looking lovely, I can't wait to see more! Glad to have you back...x

Goody said...

I'm glad to hear you're settled into your new home. God, it's hard isn't it? I'm sorry you had to go through it, and now you should have only good things and much happiness from here on out (you will).

There's a new year around the corner and it sounds like you've got a jump-start on setting 2016 behind. Onward, dear Curtise! Seriously good times ahead.

Natalia Lialina said...

I was sooo happy to receive your comment earlier today, Curtise! I can't tell you how much I've missed you. I was just looking at your blog yesterday, hoping to see a new post!

You look absolutely beautiful in this dress - like it was custom made for you. The silhouette, the colors, everything is so very you. Love these boots too. And your new place looks charming! I just love the way you organized shelves, love seeing so many lovely details (that Russian doll is adorable!). Things matter - they are a part of our life, even though it's only "stuff", but it's the stuff we love and feel connected to. Yes, memories!

It's been difficult, I know. I just want to give you a nice warm hug. It will be better soon! It already is better!

Sending you all my love!

Sue said...

You are very brave to have made the move you have done, so remember that. Tears are good and you obviously needed to let them flow, it is all part of the process. Glad to see your lovely face again, and just know life will turn good again for you. Looking forward to hearing and seeing your new adventures and so wishing you all the love, health and happiness you need and deserve.

Jenni said...

So lovely to have you back x your unique style has been missed xx

Wendy @ The contented Cavern said...

Hi I've found your blog via Sam and now reading past posts. I just wanted to say keep your chin up I've been where you are a number of years ah now and although it was hard emotionally and financially I think I'm a stronger kinder contented and more relaxed woman because of it. I love your blog and you look amazing and when you're ready you will find love again. All the best Wendy

beate grigutsch said...

just saw you commenting.....

WELCOME BACK LOVE!
crying out was the best you could do. i guess there were a lot of tears burried deep in you over the decades.......
and there you´r standing! beautiful, proud and gorgeously dressed!! <3 <3 <3 and you have a new garden already with a fab backdrop for shootings! love the pics of your new home, such neat boards for books and knickknacks and this elegant green toned display in front of a mauve wall.....
now i have to kick open a bottle of sparkling wine :-) prosit!!!
xxxxxx

Melanie said...

So happy to see you back! I can't imagine how difficult it will have been for you but you're moving forward, so that can only be a good thing. I am very prone to tears, for goodness sake, adverts set me off, so I am certainly not one to judge tears, it's an obvious reaction to so much emotional upheaval xxx

señora Allnut said...

wouuu, it's so fabulous to see you again!! and I'm so glad that you're into a new home and remaking, that's good news!
And you look gorgeous, colorful and pretty!, once more, it's lovely to see you again!
besos & lots of encouragement!

Mim said...

There's no shame in loving things for the memories they trigger. Moving is stressful enough, without dealing with a breakup on top of it. Crying is okay.

Here's to a warm and happy Christmas for you all in your new home. It's great to see you back.

Laurie Duncan said...

I missed you so much too! Hope we get to see more posts from you in the future. And I'm glad you are in a better place now. I'm afraid I'm one of those people you can cry at the drop of a hat, especially if I see someone else crying. Ever since I went through pregnancy I've been like that. Hope you have a happy holiday season! xoxo :)

Forest City Fashionista said...

It's so nice to see you Curtise! I have been thinking about you and hoping you would post again when you were ready. I'm glad you have found a new place to live and even though moving is hell (our office is in the midst of one right now), it will feel better when you get your things the way you like them. I'm not a big crier (except at movies where animals are hurt or abandoned) find a really good cry can be very cathartic. Sending you a hug and positive thoughts.

Charis said...

Oh Curtise my dear!After a blogging hiatus myself I just popped over for a catch up, and big changes. I do hope that you are doing okay and I'm glad that you've settled in to your new home xxx

Suzanne Carillo said...

You have been dearly missed! Especially your dry wit and humour. I hope you are managing to still find those somewhere amongst the sadness.

One thing is sure, once you wade through so much shit you know you are strong enough to cope with any kind of future plot twists.

Change is inevitable. How we cope with it that defines the rest of our life and our future happiness.

Stay strong lady.

BTW I had that exact same little Russian waving doll as a kid. I adore the way you've decorated your new house. You creative spirit shines.

bisous
Suzanne

Sheila said...

So good to see you, Curtise, and glad you had some good (sounds like) cathartic cries. Get it all out, and don't be afraid to do it. Hugs to you, my friend.

Bobbi said...

I'm glad you're doing better. Starting a new life is so hard. I hate crying, too, but sometimes it's the only way to get things out.
I'm sending lots of peace your way.
I've missed your blog posts!

Vix said...

So glad your back, dearest Monk! Blogland's a much duller place without you.
You're incredibly brave to wipe the slate clean and start afresh, I'm pretty sure there's hundreds of women out there who wish they'd got the guts to do them same.
Parting with stuff is so hard, hence why my parent's house still hasn't been cleared but I'm delighted you've found a new home that you love - when's the first sleepover? Can I come?
That dress is fabulous and the boots are perfect with it. I'm liking the new posing spot, too.
Love you! xxxxx
PS A rather wonderful package was waiting for us under Gilbert when we got in today...thank you so much! xxxx

Mrs Bertimus said...

Hello chucks!
I've missed you me dear!
Sending you much love indeed xxx

Beth M. said...

So glad you're back! I've been regularly checking, always hoping for an update. New garden looks pretty and so does the house, and the outfit, and you! Change is a challenge, but you're well-equipped! Really glad you posted again.

Angel Banks said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Sue @ A Colourful Canvas said...

hey you. So nice to see you posting. I know things have been very, very difficult. I'm just happy you're here and getting back on your feet. Online friendships...so awkward at times...I have to really search for words when I'd rather just share a box of kleenex and give you a big hug.

Lynn Holland said...

Aw darling Curtise it's so wonderful to see your blog active again. You might not have been around but you're always on my thoughts.
I'm so glad things are settling down for you.
That dress would have my name all over it if it was a bit bigger.
Im bagging it first before Ann (Polyester Princess) gets her dabs on it haha.
Lots of love Lynn xxx
Can you email me your new address please to hollandweld@sky.com

Connie said...

Oh my wonderful adorable Curtise. I am DELIGHTED to see you out and about!! I was in bed in my PJ's (recovering from some more effing surgery)when I saw your comment on my blog and I almost started crying. Just like you I was never much of a crier but now I believe it to be the best therapy next to cocktails and shopping and snork laughing with girlfriends. You are looking lean and beautiful and serene. What a lovely frock. And your place is so nice and cozy. And it's yours, all yours. How nice is that? I have not been in the land o' blogs much these days. I feel gutted after the election and am honestly scared to death. But a bright shiny blog post from Curtsie is definitely worth getting out of bed and putting on a pot of coffee. Much love to you.

Melanie said...

Bonjour, you lovely creature! In that gorgeous new garden, ready to wake up the neighbours with your awesome style.

Well, I could say wouldn't it be lovely if crying was like exercise? - toning and beauty treatment all in one. Great for the abs when it's a really good session. Hahaha! But a good cry does do a world of good. And here you are, standing strong in that fab dress.

Congratulations on your move. Big, biggest warm hugs. And a huge grin. So happy to see you. xoxo

Beth Waltz said...

Ah, there you are! And, of course, here we are, delighted to see you out and about, tears dried and old skin shed. Welcome back!

Rachel Squirrel said...

*Wonderful* to see a post from you, Curtise! You have been much missed. I was hoping things were going ok for you and your family as you moved through the transition. I know that big crying fits are frightening, but it is a release that you need. So pleased to hear things are good. I love how you have curated your shelves, as stylish and thoughtfully placed as I expected. Lots of love x

Northern mum down South said...

Glad to see things are settling down for you. Warmest wishes xx

Lynn Hasty said...

I know that pain. Firsthand. Just when I thought I could not cry anymore, I cried some more. You are strong; it shows in your posts! You will make it!!!
xo
Lynn

freckleface said...

I'm here. Loooook, over in the corner, underneath the layer of bloggers dust...
Good to see you back, and so pleased to hear that you have come through all the heartache and upset and are feeling good about how your new life is looking.
The idea of having your very own house is soooooo good. I imagine that some of the time at least, you will be able to clean or tidy it, and it will actually stay that way for a day or two. Imagine that?!
I'm not going to ask about the shoes...I'm not...but oh! you have the same teddy as me. Although yours still appears to have facial features. Didn't bother him much, did you?
Anyway, welcome back, it's really lovely to see you. xxxxxx